Best friend died today. 13 years of the best. There is now a huge hole in my heart that will never be filled.

When my friend came along and I saw his wounds I swore I'd find the people who did this to him and make them feel his pain. I failed to do this and I regret it more than just about anything. I might have wound up in jail or prison but it would have been worth it. I only hope that our friendship helped him to heal.

Friend was suffering for visibly for 3 to 4 days before death. Wouldn't eat or drink. He always took such joy in food. I could eat food amazingly fast but he could always best me.

I promised my friend that I wouldn't allow myself to live to see him suffer and die. Today broke most important promise I ever made. Best friend I ever had. My other "friendships" were jokes compared to ours. Friendship will never mean the same thing ever again.

Someday when my life has passed me by
I'll lay around and wonder why you were always there for me

Some say better things will come our way
No matter what they try to say you were always there for me

-Someday by Sugar Ray