Tomorrow (
today, actually, but I'm writing this
yesterday) I have to go to a
Driver Improvement Class. Why do I have to do this, you ask? Because the
DMV suspended my
license. Why did they do this, you ask? Because I got two
speeding tickets several months ago. Why is the DMV wrong and evil in every possible way, you ask?
Because Oregon law specifically states that suspensions for offenses that took place before the driver's 18th birthday GO OUT OF EFFECT once the driver turns 18. Yep, you guessed it -- I got the tickets when I was 17, and the DMV, in total ignorance of state law, suspended my license after my 18th birthday.
Why did I not point out their mistake to them, you ask? I did. Numerous times. Both on the phone and in person. What was the result, you ask? The DMV told me to call the private company that runs the driver improvement course and see what they thought. So I called them. My conversation with the woman on the other end (who was apparently chewing gum and beating things with a sledgehammer) went something like this:
Me: <explaining my situation in detail>
Her: Uh-huh.
Me: So, according to Oregon law, my license should not have been suspended.
Her: No, the law doesn't say that.
Me: I'm looking at it right here. It says that any suspension for an offense that took place before the driver's 18th birthday goes out of effect once the driver is 18, or after five years, whichever comes first.
Her: No, it doesn't say that.
Me: But I'm looking at it. I'm reading the law. It's right here in front of me.
Her: No, you're wrong.
Me: I don't think you're listening. This book of laws, which is sitting here in front of me, says this. I am certain of it.
Her: <whacks something with hammer>
Me: Hello?
Her: It doesn't say that.
Me: But...
Her: <more hammering>
Me: Fine, dammit, fine. I'll just sign up for the damn class to get my license back.
Her: That'll be $50 sir. Visa or MasterCard?
That's right ladies and gentlemen, a damn company is deciding state law for me. Thus, I have spent the last week without a license, mooching rides off other people and generally being very miserable and pissed off.
But the good news is, after I take the class tomorrow, it should only take another six weeks or so for the DMV to process my request for a new license.