A Discordian Discourse, on the topic of Belief.
"…of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh"
— Ecclesiastes 12:12
In the beginning (it is written) was the goddess Eris, known to the Greeks thus and to the Romans as Discordia. There was the Original Snub, when she was not invited to the wedding of Peleus and Thetis on Mount Olympus. Her response was the gift of the Apple of Discord, sent to the party to cause Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch chaos, ending in the Trojan War. In due course came the Discordian Enlightenment and the uncovering of the Pentabarf and since then every conscious soul can become a card-carrying Discordian Pope provided they adhere, or not, to the Five Commandments.
All of this is, of course, nonsense. For the Fifth Commandment tells us that "A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads". Ignoring the patriarchal statement (for this was written in a time when men alone wrote rules), if we read such a statement today, are we not prohibited from believing it? Here is a paradox of "All Cretans are liars" proportions¹. Of course as Discordians we resolve this by not taking it at all seriously, and ignoring it unless it suits us to sow discord and chaos by observing it.
In order to truly spread pandemonium as a part of the global Operation Mindfuck one needs to persuade others to a) believe everything they read (excepting certain texts) or b) disbelieve everything they read (excepting certain texts). This allows for the manipulation of people by creating a bubble of Belief (or of course, Disbelief) in which they can become trapped. The true Discordian becomes immune to this as everything is taken with a Righteous Grain of Salt. We become Discerning, albeit in a righteous sort of a way, rather than a self-righteous one (or perhaps vice-versa). As Seekers of Truth we know we are surrounded by Chaos, relish it and laugh at those who don't. This is how we use and abuse the world.
Free to ignore the mundane chaos, the Discordian takes their delight in culture jamming, messing with the organised, twisting and subverting it and melding it to their own (occasionally humorous and nefarious) purposes. We aren't just talking about sticking googly eyes on objects, spraying slogans on advertising hoardings, we're talking about taking the world and satirising it wholesale. They even profane their own Commandments:
III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously
of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular
Paganisms of the Day:
of Catholic Christendom (no meat on Friday)
of Judaism (no meat of Pork)
of Hindic Peoples (no meat of Beef)
of Buddhists (no meat of animal)
and of Discordians (no Hot Dog Buns).
IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess
Eat hot dogs or don't. Subvert in order to
immanentize the eschaton.
"Don't believe everything you read on the Internet"
— George Washington
Of course we are not alone in this. The world of Big Business and Religion and Politics these days relies on persuading people to filter the world through various tinted glasses. One group perhaps relishes lies and argues that black is white, the other knows the truth that the sky is green. One group might speak of "fake news" and the other, "facts". Believers in the Flat Earth may be secretly Discordian, trolls hidden behind belief. Birds Aren't Real adherents may be true believers hiding behind parody. For every believer in modern medicine, there's another who knows that vaccines cause autism or that drinking aged urine cures…whatever it cures². Each thus snipes the other until no-one knows what to believe, government comes crashing to a halt and the world burns. This happens in every country to an extent. The gods look on and laugh and the people are oblivious to Eris' involvement.
Discordians rise above this by disbelieving all they read. Manifestos of political parties, holy books (even their own, as mentioned), news sources. All this becomes folly. With all filters removed, we see the world as it really is; a playground for the agile mind.
Thereby they (we) mock the world, daring all to find fault with their gaslighting of their own, um, faith. Is this religion a joke? Who can tell? We hide the truth behind our own self-mockery and no-one is certain whether it's a parody of religion, or a Religion of Parody. The whole thing may be a grand joke, or it may be something of utmost seriousness. Only the adept know for sure, and they sure aren't telling anyone. Not that Discordians would believe it anyway, because of course, we're forbidden from believing what we read.
Dated this Boomtime, the 30th day of The Aftermath in the YOLD 3189. Hail Eris.
¹ All Cretans are liars, according to a Cretan, and the Bible
² I daren't even look this one up.
Iron node 15
$ xclip -o | wc -w
847