Principia Discordia


Here is some important information which you may make use of in your sunny, optimistic future! OM!

At the time of this writing, it has been written once (or more):
And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Delicious Golden Worm.

NOTE: This WU does not reference quince, or even membrillo.

The Golden Apple Corps (KSC) does fall not far from the tree
and somewhere above, behind, between, over, or under
the Five Apostles of Eris and the Episkoposes of The Discordian Society.


The Golden Apple Corps is an honorary position for The Keepers of The
Sacred Chao, so that they can put "KSC" after their names.

It says little,
does less,

-- > < --

(probably ought not believe this part)


In the Los Angeles suburb of Whittier (La Habra?) there lives a bowling alley, and
within this very place, in the year of Our Lady of Discord 31 25 (1 959*),
Eris revealed Herself to The Golden Apple Corps for the first time.

In honor of this Incredible Event, this Holy Place is revered as a Shrine by
all Erisians. Once every five years, the Golden Apple Corps plans a
Pilgrimage to Brunswick Shrine as an act of Devotion, and therein to
partake of No Hot Dog Buns, and ruminate a bit about The All.

It is written (again) that when The Corps returns to the Shrine for the fifth time
five times over, then shall the world come to an end:

And Five Days Prior to This Occasion The
Apostle The Elder Malaclypse Shall Walk
the Streets of Whittier Bearing a Sign for
All Literates to Read thereof: "DOOM", as
a Warning of Forthcoming Doom to All
Men Impending. And He Shall Signal This
Event by Seeking the Poor and Distributing
to Them Precious MAO BUTTONS and
Whittier Shall be Known as The Region of
Thud for These Five Days.

As a public service of doom to all mankind and civilization in general, and to us in
particular, the Golden Apple Corps has concluded that planning such a
Pilgrimage is sufficient and that it is prudent to never get around to
actually going, especially if impending doom is also on the way.

* Or maybe it was 1 958, I forget.


APPLE FOOL: Stew some apples in a stone jar on a stove, or in a saucepan of water over the fire: if the former, a large spoonful of water should be added to the fruit. When reduced to a pulp, peel and press them through a colander; boil a sufficient quantity of new milk, and a tea-cup full of raw cream, or an egg instead of the latter, and leave the liquor to cool. Then mix it gradually with the pulp, and sweeten the whole with fine moist sugar.

23 is okay by me, but 32 is divinely true!

Chant thirty-two times or until all is well and as it should be.

Trivia: this was noded while eating scrambled eggs, refried beans, and home fries, accompanied by sweet tea on
Boomtime, the 25th day of The Aftermath in the YOLD 3189.

Disclaimer of Peerage

Re-Dedicated to The Prettiest One


iron noder 00015/00031

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