The Scene: Everything Chatterbox.
The Time: 1:45 PM EST, the middle of ideath's workday.
yossarian slams hoopy with a mackerel
<ideath> Bang! Who'd i shoot?
<hoopy_frood> Ow! I'll get you for this one!
<booyaa> shoot? what?
<yossarian> That'll teach you to mess with the king of fish, knave!
yossarian checks for bullet holes
<zot-fot-piq> ow! you got me!
<ideath> nope, i shot hoopy.
<hoopy_frood> king of fish, indeed! why, when I was king of fish, things were different around here.
hoopy_frood checks for ticks
<ideath> try again - Bang! Who'd i shoot?
<hoopy_frood> hey! no fair!
<yossarian> hey! no fair! you always shoot hoopy!
yossarian punches hoopy on the arm
<yossarian> Jinx!
<booyaa> nobody ever shoots me!
hoopy_frood reels, in slow motion, and falls to a heap on the ground.
<zot-fot-piq> did you shoot me this time?
<yossarian> what's all this shooting? do I have to get out the big fish?
<ideath> no, i shot hoopy.
<ideath> Bang! Who'd i shoot?
<zot-fot-piq> I'll shoot you, booyaa.
hoopy_frood groans. the light! it's getting closer!
<yossarian> I have the marlin. The marlin is good. So is the wine.
<Saige> What's going on? is somebody shot?
<yossarian> id: take off that blindfold and drop the gun, or I'll be forced to use this marlin!
<ideath> THIS TIME, i shot zot.
<ideath> oh, come on, yoss - it's just a game.
<ideath> Bang! Who'd i shoot?
<yossarian> I'll show you just a game! hoopster over here is talking to his grandmother.
<emil greer> was it me?
yossarian winds up with the gigantic fish.
hoopy_frood slumps over dejectedly in a pudle of his own blood.
<hoopy_frood> puddle, I mean.
<ideath> i shot yossarian. Bang! Who'd i shoot?
<yossarian> hey! you can't talk! I jinxed you! AND you're dead!
<yossarian> oh, the humanity! Horatio, I am dead. (falls)
<yossarian> I ought never to have trusted you.
<ideath> you're right. i shot you again. Bang! Who'd i shoot?
<DMan> what's with all the shooting? somebody been reading my nodes?
zot-fot-piq wonders if ideath is, in fact, a postal worker.
hoopy_frood thinks, i'm glad i wasn't really alive to begin with. death means nothing to me!
<ideath> now i shot DMan! anybody get it yet?
<booyaa> I said, nobody ever shoots me! this is a game?
<Pseudo_Intellectual> I know many, frequently obscure things. Ask me about it.
<ideath> Bang, Who'd i shoot?
<ideath> yeah, it's a game. i just couldn't figure out how to node it.
hoopy_frood draws himself to his feet and searches for the rest of his head.
yossarian wonders if ideath is actually trying to drum up business for an online mortuary.
<DMan> geez.
<zot-fot-piq> i don't get it.
ideath realizes that last time, she shot herself.
<hoopy_frood> good.
<zot-fot-piq> it was inevitable. they're not toys, you know.
ideath , clinging to a bit of life, whispers, Bang! Who'd I shoot?
<elmochick> hey! somebody voted down my piercings again!
<ideath> (from the deathbed) i shot ELMOCHICK!
yossarian gets a pillow and a determined look in his eye.
<elmochick> what did you shoot me for?
hoopy_frood eats ideath's brains.
<hoopy_frood> mmmm. brains.
none of this dialogue actually took place. all of it is made up. none of it should insult anyone, because it is made up and i was just trying to illustrate a game that can drive people crazy in the real world - but i think it would make people more crazy in the chatterbox. If you didn't get it, the answer is: whoever spoke first was shot. ok? This is the latest in my series of (frequently irritating) time-wasting games, which are part of everything, and now part of Everything.


"Dammit", muttered the shadowy intruder, as he collapsed at the top of the landing.

The professor stared down at this hands, aghast. He hadn't meant to shoot. He hadn't! His nerves were jangling. His time machine was just completed. He'd turned off all the house lights, conserving power for the maiden run. He was just making sure his revolver was loaded, when he saw the flash of movement at the head of the stairs. His finger twitched. It was nerves. Pure reflex.

Now he'd killed a man. If only he could turn back time and stop himself. If only...

With grim resolve, the professor leaped into his machine, spun the dials and stabbed the button.

Flash! He blinked around in the sudden darkness, confused to find himself in the kitchen. A slight misalignment maybe... a faulty coil... No time! He raced for the basement stairs--


"Dammit", he groaned, as he slumped down on the landing, and watched through the growing darkness as his own hand turned the dials back, pressed the big red button down.

just a bit of flash fiction, inspired by ideath's node above and a game of Chrononauts.

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