February 23, 2005

The haters are really our negative love superstars aren't they?

You don't really know the value of the negative gifts you receive from others. In composing the first draft of this w/u, I spelled the month correctly. This is because in my 4th or 5th grade class, during this month the nun would go around the class stopping at each desk with a big brass ruler to see how we spelled it. There were many gifts of this sort from this bride for whom I have the sincerest, as I'm sure she knew I would, gratitude.

Reading in Time online, about the Phelpses of Topeka, KS, I was stunned at the example of a whole family based on negative love, And then there's the Pontifex Maximus.

Well my friends, here's how it is.

You see I've figured out the problem is always one of the proper combination of principles, application of concepts. Just as it is that the negative suffering is less interesting than the positive, so the negative learning is more interesting than the positive. From the negative suffering escape is easy, if drastic. But dealing with pleasure, there's a challenge.

And the positive learning, is ... well, old. Pleasure reinforces, DUH.

I suppose the great of gift of those who hate us is in allowing us to see beyond affect, generally.

Your lover will let you grow and fat and slow, but your hater will keep you slim and sleek, you know, like ein Windhund.

Sometimes I feel as if I walk along a precipice that is so wide and so deep that it takes my breath away. Sometimes I find it inspiring but for the most part…

The edge,
it frightens me
One voice inside my head whispers jump
For you’ll soar high above the clouds
and visit the stars and they will feel like home
You’ll experience a sense a freedom and floating
That you’ve only ever dreamt about
Don’t be afraid of the ground below, it’s safer up here.

The edge,
it frightens me
One voice inside my head whispers stay
It’s much safer where you are right now
What if your wings don’t work and it is all a lie?
And you come crashing down into the gaping maw?
Be afraid of what you don’t know

The edge,
it frightens me
What if either one of the voices that whisper inside my head is right
And one of them is wrong
Which one do I listen to?
How do I choose?
I’m too afraid to turn around though
Because then I’ll just see what I already know

Having been not-around for quite some time, I don't know what people post in daylogs nowadays, but here is the most interesting thing I did today.

A friend of mine posted an entry in his livejournal about some program he wants to do that involves reading old German books or somesuch. He likes old languages. (I like current languages. This is how we became friends.) Anyway, I posted the following comment in response:

I was going to say something like "You're really dorky!", but
a) someone already did,
b) it would be hypocritical, and
c) I find that I have tired lately of people feeling the need to dredge up "dork," "nerd," or "geek" whenever anyone mentions their academic interests. I realize it's all in fun, because we're all in it together, but sometimes I feel like we're all embarrassed to be passionate about things, and need to qualify everything by assuring everyone that we take it all, at least partly, as a joke.

It's not embarrassing, or a joke. I think it is awesome. And you are awesome, for being so into such random dusty things as old languages and old books. I hope you get to go. :)

Ok, this comment ended up being serious-er than I meant it to.

I found it interesting because this idea popped out of my head fully-formed, which does not happen very often, and I thought it was a good one. (Though, probably not that original.) "Ok, I'm a dork," has become such a part of my ideolect, and it doesn't really mean anything, except please don't laugh at me for being passionate about the things I am passionate about. Is that a meaning I need? I think not. So, how many other unnecessary qualifiers can I get rid of?