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How to Make a Splash at a Noder Meet

To make a splash at a noder meet one could simply jump in the swimming pool (you know we all have swimming pools right?) but really now, who is going to spread the word of your radness for even the most well-timed belly flop into the shallow end. Even digital pictures of your water-smacked-red tummy will fade from memory soon enough.

So what to do? Here comes the big meet. What to wear? What to bring? What to say?

Rest easy, awkward noder, factgirl is here pour vous. Here is a simple list of tips to get you through the party:.

#1: Host the noder meet!
If you decide to take the hosting rout to make a splash, be sure you ask your parents or roommate and have excellent leadership skills. And 911 on speed dial.

#2:Show up early!
This one is tricky. If the noder meet is on Saturday, Thursday is not a good arrival date. Friday evening, however, might be the perfect opportunity to meet your host and help him or her prepare for the festivities – bring beer, a sleeping bag, your best manners, and a gift (something from Archie McFee or Thinkgeek would probably be good).

#3: Bring pictures of your kids!
As some superfly noder once said E2 Moms Rock! (and the dads ain’t too shabby neither). We want to see your children, your grandchildren, you got a picture of your dog or hamster? I’ll take a peek!

#4: Cook!
Babysit the grill. Bake some special brownies. All the noders in the house say yayah! (yayah in this case meaning “I am drunk with gratitude and high on the love I feel for the one who has helped to nourish me this day.”)

#5: Clean!
Just as in nature, where we take nothing but pictures and leave nothing but footprints, let us all noders, take many digital and icam pictures, and leave nothing but the trash in its proper receptacle, tied so as to keep the doggies from licking the special brownie from the wax paper liner therein. When the last person exits the party, the host should be able to nap in happytude that there is nothing for girlfriend/wife/parents/roommate to bitch about on their return.

#6: Slip the host some cash!
If you ate food and drank no alcohol or if you drank and brought some to share $10, if you ate food and drank alcohol and brought none to share $20, if you slept on the floor, ate some food, drank alcohol and helped out with the clean up $30, if you slept on the floor, ate food, smoked too much, got drunk and puked all over the place before passing out for 20 hours, well, there are some things that money can't buy.

#7: Talk about E2!
When the edev gang get together, the code talk is like music! Perhaps you have read my awesome node about noding. (extraspecialsuperhint: exploring the positive aspects of Everything2 will get you lots more splash than complaints; but if you are going to gossip, sit by me).

#8: Talk about anything but E2!
We know you node or you wouldn’t be here. What else can you do?

#9: Listen!
Which noder was an Eagle Scout? Which noder just attended his 20th High School Reunion? Which noder is about to graduate from college with a degree in something I can’t pronounce? Which noder worked at Subway for his first real job? Which noder worked for a record label in his wayward youth? Which noder taught kindergarten? This is only a smattering (there is oh so much more) of the information that you’d miss if you forget to listen.

#10: Show up late!
A grand entrance with more beer and chips makes anyone more attractive.

#11: Don’t show up at all! (but send presents)
Before the noder meet, mail a care package to the host's address – usually posted on the gathering node. You will be popular without even staying up late.

#12: Share!
This goes for everything but tampons and toothbrushes. A bowl packed and not offered to the noders on the left and on the right is a bowl that, if toked, will curse you to squaresville baby – yeah squaresville. Dig?

Finally the most important splash maker at noder meets, and I cannot stress this enough:

Be yourself. Noders are an accepting bunch and you have nothing to prove. Go with the flow.
We like you! Probably.

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