Tonight, I
cannot deal with being a failure, not even being remotely close to it. They
have told me I’m not, that it doesn’t matter. I fought. Am I not proud of
myself?
There are
strange motions in the mirror, faces I have thought forgotten, voices that came
to me before, from a world gone. Sometimes, he tells me…you remember so much of
what you cannot. I have
always been asked why I am so beyond understandable. Idle explanations, words
like complicated and complex have saved me from baring my soul. Selflessly giving all to someone has not paid off. There is no such thing.
I have
wanted to be wanted, longed to be loved, needed to know that I am worthy. And
now all I know is a tired heart, many years more than necessary. So, I lay
the cards on the table for all to see. Some talk around my memories, others do
not bother. Many fear too much. Not you.
All you say is;
for now, I'll be indifferent.
Because that’s what I do.