WARNING ....severe rugby player humour ahead ....If you are easily offended hit random node NOW
I don't normally post any non-factual nodes, but this email just made me laugh so hard I had to include it, something tells me it's severe downvote bait
New words and phrases for the 2001 dictionary.
A magic act performed on Saturday night, where fast food vanishes down the performer's throat, and then shortly afterwards, it suddenly reappears on the taxi floor.
Similar to a French Kiss, but given down under.
Back End of the Batmobile:
The state of your Brass Eye soon after you eat a really hot curry. "I had a Ring Stinger in the Benghazi restaurant last night, and now I've got a dose of Gandhi's Revenge. My arse feels like the back end of the Batmobile."
Beaver Leaver or Vagina Decliner.
A male homosexual.
The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too pissed to remember where you live, how you get there, and where you've come from.
Body Off Baywatch, Face Off Crimewatch.
The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus aforethought, score with a Bobfoc last night. This charge is usually brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub on Saturday night.
Bone of Contention:
A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one that arises when a man is watching Olympic beach volleyball on TV with his girlfriend.
Breaking the Seal:
Your 1st piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
Budgie's Tongue or Small Man In A Boat, or Tongue Punchbag.
The female erection.
Blue-Veined Hooligan. The 1-eyed skinhead.
Beer Goggles for the young drinker.
1-handed reading material.
The bowel movement that, needing to come out urgently, wakes you up in the morning to get to the toilet quick.
The particularly frothy type of diarrhoea that you get when abroad.
A sexual position in which the man enters the woman from behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar to that used when playing a double bass instrument, but the sound produced is slightly different.
Trying to draw a smile on a woman's face by twiddling both of her nipples simultaneously.
Fizzy Gravy or Rusty Water.
Surfing the Internet for some left-handed websites.
Free the Tadpoles:
Liberate the residents of Wank Tanks.
Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
The sound made when driving through too narrow a gap at too high a speed.
Going For a McShit:
Entering a fast food restaurant with no intention of buying food, you're just going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply staff member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their food afterwards is a McShit With Lies.
A very short skirt, only an inch from the hare.
A vigorous masturbation session.
Hefty Cleft or Horse's Collar, or Welly Top.
Description of a very large vagina.
The type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a week in fast food restaurants.
The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth seeing.
A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your 10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive people so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday morning before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept with, and leaves a 10-Pinter in your bed instead.
No Beers Required. Someone that you'd chat up instantly in the pub. The opposite of a 10-Pinter.
A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks like she's got 4 buttocks.
Sperm Wail or Spuphemism.
A verbal outburst during the male orgasm.
Starfish Trooper or Arsetronaut.
Someone that you'd only chat up after drinking at least 10 pints.
Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to have sex with. (1 to cover their head, and 1 to cover yours, in case their bag falls off.)
A variation on a 2-Bagger, the third bag is for your dogs head, so he'll still look at you in the morning
A lady who goes down first time out.
During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.
Unwanted visitors from Uranus.
I recieved this via email and have had no part in its creation, so I have no idea of the originator of the mail, if it was you and you want it removed and/or your name credited to it then please message me