Warning: depressing, misanthropic ending to this one. If you hate princesses, you might like it, otherwise...
Once upon a time, in Outer Everystan, where
sand storms blow accross the
parched desert, and the whooping cactuses scare the
bejeezus out of travelling
merchants...
...there lived a
beautiful prince named Khalil, who took for his
wife a
correspondingly beautiful princess named Isca, and they came to live together in a stately
palace. The place was a
wonderland. It had
everything. A view over the
majestic Everystan
Inland Ocean. A
jacuzzi. A
state of the art enchanted kitchen staffed by five-star
chefs who could whip up anything from a six course
dinner to
variant peanut butter sandwiches in a matter of minutes. There was a
stable full of beautiful
horses,
pink unicorns,
zebras, and other interesting
critters, who were all so
friendly and
tame they would eat
cheerios out of the princess Isca's hand. There were
walk-in closets full of
clothes and
shoes for every occasion, all of which fit
perfectly, and the
collection would magically change every time she walked into such a closet, except for the stuff she
definitely liked, which would always be the same, in exactly the same spot, no matter which closet she walked into. There was a big
fluffy four post bed with a
canopy, where she and the prince could sleep, nestled in each other's arms. Around the bed,
gravity was magically reduced so that nobody's arms or legs ever went
numb. They also had
separate bedrooms for nights when she just didn't feel like dealing with the prince. He was an
enlightened prince, you see, and
loved her very much, so he understood.
The princess mostly
telecommuted, but the prince's work required him to
travel frequently. There were very few
locked doors in the palace, and for the ones that did exist, he showed her where the
key box was and which
key opened what. There was one
single,
solitary key that he asked her to
please not use. "This
relationship is based on
openness and
trust, and I'm asking you,
on your honor, sweet princess, to leave that key, and the door that it opens, well enough alone.
Deal?", said the prince.
"Of course,
honey." said the princess.
You know what's coming, don't you? Uh huh.
The very first
business trip the prince went on... his steam-copter was barely off the
landing pad... the princess immediately went for that fucking key and tried to open that fucking door! That's just how
human nature is. And you know what? The key was bent, so she took it down to the
workshop in the
cellar, put it in a
vise, and
hammered on it. It still wouldn't work, so she got a
crow bar and tried prying the door open. It gave a little, but still wouldn't open enough for her to get in. So she
channeled up dial-a-mage and had
mage come in to cast
fireball spells at the door.
"You sure about this,
madam? It'll damage the
finish, you know."
"That's
okay, I need to get through that door."
"I don't know. It's kind of a
fire hazard. I could lose my
license."
"Here's an extra 20
platinum. Now do it!"
"Okay, but just so you know, I took the
liberty of taking a quick
astral peek behind that door, and there really isn't anything all that interesting behind it."
"I'll be the
judge of that. Now. Do. It."
"Sigh. Okay, you asked. Remember:
no refunds."
KABOOOM!!!!!! The door shattered into smithereens when the very first fireball was cast.
There was now a big
charred hole in the wall where the door had been. The mage bid the princess
farewell and
good luck, and
teleported back to her
mage tower.
Her heart rattling like an enchanted
hamster wheel, Isca stepped through into the
forbidden room. Like that mage said, it really wasn't worth it, and what's worse she soon found out that it broke a
very important spell. When Prince Khalil returned and saw what
transpired, he turned into a
frog,
hopped away, and Isca never saw him again. Or maybe she did, but how would she know for
sure,
right?
She spent the rest of her
life in that
miserable palace full of
useless trinkets, and none of it meant a thing to her anymore.
The Fucking End
Look, sorry. That's just how the story came out. I warned you, didn't I? I promise tomorrow's will be a happier one. Wierder, but happier. I already wrote it, so I know that for a fact.
Oh, and one more thing... no story of mine is ever finished. No story on
Everything2 ever is. That's the point. Have something to add, remove change? A different ending? A different beginning or middle? That's what the writeup box is for.