Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Seriously. Think of the stuff you wrote when you were 13. Now imagine literally being unable to live that down. Having your entire life defined by it. Ghastly."

• When your life is defined by a single action, it changes the concept of time.
• I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• When life gives you lemons, grab it by the throat and demand better
• Now that we're being so open and honest
• When men were men, women were women, and you knew where you were going in life
• You were the one beam of light in my life; I responded by putting on sunglasses.
• imagine that when you die you relive the last few seconds of your life
• If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
• When I think of him now I can smell horses
• Poetry you found that you wrote when you were ten but secretly still like
• I Think We're Alone Now
• When being chased by CIA trainees, don't mention Belgium to the waffle house physicist
• When life gives you lemons, suck on them. Seriously, lemons taste awesome.
• It is her name that I think of when I think about being in love.
• when life was kind and we were two young wide-eyed believers
• When your imaginary life is interrupted unapologetically by your real one
• At night, when we walked by the wall, the world seemed to fall down before us - the whole, far-off, dirty world.
• I used to think that the lives of Jane Austen's characters were shallow and meaningless
• Guide to determining if you are constantly being mauled by bears
• When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him
• the only true religion is the one that lives in the heart of every human being
• Another being's life
• When the walls go down
• when all material scatters and ashes amplify the only place that matters is by your side
• We're on our way to being GODS!
• Spice up your life by attending strip clubs
• Down By The Bay
• Down by the fish, where the Grape Men sing
• Memories aren't only in your head if you can't walk down a road without having them.
• Loving someone, knowing down to the day when you will leave them.
• How to avoid being urinated upon by your baby boy
• Notes on ruining the beauty of barren places by being there
• I wonder when I learned to smile when I was being hurt
• Words to live by
• Down by Law (user)
• Shot Down by the Burbank Police Department
• Call now, operators are standing by.
• The relative risk of being attacked by a shark
• I can't remember when I fell but I love it down here
• You're laughing now, but I'm voting this sucka down
• You're voting this sucka down now, but I'm going to laugh
• When having sex in Poland
• we lived entire summers after midnight
• Thumbing down a ride when you could take the bus
• drum rudiments which sound like they were named by a neural net
• on being hit by lightning
• Being a Christian is magical and foolish: Maybe we're all caught up in a collective psychosis
• Help! Help! We're being held prisoner in a system software factory!
• The Lovecraftian compulsion to keep noding even as one is being devoured by EDB
• If we were machines, we'd have the gift of being eternal and I want you to understand
• Being complicated is not fun, especially when not everyone agrees that you are
• Five rules to live by
• Some advice on girls by a girl : the simple stuff
• on the occasion of the city having fallen to the forces of evil, and there being no hope left among the people
• The Classical Anthology defined by Confucius
• What Weakness To Be Struck Down By A Phantom
• Open source cars would be doing 200 mpg by now
• 'Tis time, I think, by Wenlock town
• do you allow yourself to imagine being with someone?
• Pamela Lives by the Sea
• On feeling haunted by words which were never said
• That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
• Two peanuts were walking down the street
• When the pencil breaks, the network goes down
• you are a comet when you streak close by the radios get weak
• And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music
• Weird things went down easier if you were already talking to the plants
• The "WE'RE GOING DOWN THE PUB!" Anglo-Swiss Post-nuptial London Meetup
• When fog comes down the mountain
• There's a fine line between feeling a will to live and feeling a fear of death. Sometimes they can both lead you down the same path.
• that moment of panic when you flush the toilet but nothing goes down
• The Fight for Life Driven by Faith
• The Wild Colonials
• Being tickled in the neck by a girl you know a little bit
• Imagine if you achieved a higher state of being from the Weather Channel
• Being serious without taking yourself too seriously
• The consequences of being seriously wounded
• Being resigned to having your corpse facing the enemy
• The dubious distinction of being criticized from the left by the Ku Klux Klan
• Tell me a story about a burro, standing atop a mesa, surrounded by a flock of geese, being fed by a weathered old man wearing nothing but a Jimmy hat
• only by consuming pieces of one another can beings such as we exist
• The boys did not know it. They were just being beautiful, and I got to watch.
• Being pulled over by the cops for speeding
• RFC 602
• your chances of being killed by a frog are low BUT NEVER ZERO
• Going by the script when talking to people
• By the Rivers of Babylon We Sat Down and Wept
• having you by the short hairs
• Dragged past the interesting parts of life by common sense and assumption
• asphyxiated by life (user)
• Technically, it's unlikely you were dropkicked by Jesus
• When I'm swept up by the Rapture, grab the wheel of my pick-up
• Down by The Cherry Tree
• 278 Books You Should Have Read By Now
• how life is all about loving and being loved
• A circle is defined by three points
• live by the sword, die by the sword
• they look up at the same night sky, they fill their heart with the same dreams, and they are infused with the breath of life by the same almighty creator
• Down by the Salley Gardens
• Windows is now shutting down
• What to do when your car breaks down
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• When water chokes you
• But seriously, a tragic thing happened down the street
• Professor Evil, prepare to be struck down by this shovel I found over in the corner! For JUSTICE!
• When you're supposed to go down, find the deepest well and go down to the bottom
• The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane
• Where was that stooped and mealy-coloured old man I used to call poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?
• now I'm down in it
• When Bobby Comes Down
• it seems to me as though most actors spend their entire lives not accomplishing anything
• Like When a Pill Goes Down Wrong
• When having sex in Germany
• My entire life I have been composing my death poem
• Where was that stooped and mealy-colored old man I used to call poppa when the merry-go-round broke down?
• Now coming down, out of this swandive, into your arms
• Why I think I'm a disgusting human being
• When you are being sacrificed
• being beaten into an unhealthy state by other people's pasts
• He makes me feel alone just by being there
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• I don't even know when I am being sarcastic anymore
• What would aliens think if they talked to an average western human being?
• The day we were married the leftover doves from his days of being a magician hummed little love songs in the attic
• Our obsessions almost killed me, but now here we are, talking like normal human beings
• Being licked to death by kittens
• Accidental death odds
• Despite being surrounded by perverts, I manage to have a great time
• Physical beings having a spiritual experience
• Since when did being spiritual matter? Since when did thread count matter?
• Being betrayed by one's own body
• Ruminations on being run over by a dump truck
• Spiritual beings having a physical experience
• The dream people were being assholes.
• For the good things in life it is worth being a snob
• The reluctant backpacker's guide to being hit by lightning
• we're living in bread that's still being baked
• I don't think that there's anything worse than being ordinary.
• When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?
• If you become lucid, you realize history's greatest literature was being written as you read it ...by yourself.
• Live by the sword, die by the arrow
• The theory of evolution says that life originated, and evolution proceeds, by random chance
• Down By Law
• We hold the proud distinction of being among the very last humans who will ever live
• Old man who lived by the crick
• Down By the River
• Now let's see what has happened to us by adopting a sedentary lifestyle
• Take life by the hand
• She will remember your heart when men are fairy tales in books written by rabbits
• These women who must live like the high Sierra white pine, fed somehow by the alpine wind
• Fossils were put there by God
• When things are known by a brand name
• imagine being free of words and only seeing a page full of symbols
• Personality is defined by other people
• I fixed my body image issues by looking at people as if they were dogs
• SA-8 Gecko (and getting shot down by one)
• Happiness is difficult to come by when one is constantly followed by Frisbees
• Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood
• Grace and Fury walk with you, call each by name when the other has failed
• If you loved her, you'd be home by now
• my whole life is passing me by and I sometimes wonder why I am even still alive
• What happens when an unspeakable thing is discussed by a loquacious idiot?
• The dead eat hope. We had none to give them, so they were pretty emaciated by the end.
• I want to marry all of my close friends and live in a big house together by an angry sea
• An Account of the Bash at Bier Baron in Celebration of CassParadox's Upcoming Migration to the West Coast, Wherein We Were Loved by All, and Even the Manager Sent Over Free Cream Puffs
• Never define your value by the scale of someone else's weakness
• Now is the winner of our discount tent made gory in slumber by this summoned orc
• When she was new, she rolled around the sky like a black umbrella blown by the wind
• The first living beings to see an Earthrise from the Moon were communist turtles.
• Grabbing Life by the Gi
• I always imagine those surrounded by time, but I walk on top of it.
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• A lie only hurts when it's told by people you care about

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