Sex injuries

It happens. When you and your loved one are together, you never know when that bed just suddenly dissapears out from under you, having you find yourself on the floor with a nice rug burn across your knee or other various parts. Below is a list of a few common sex injuries and ways you might treat them. It's always good to be prepared, right?

Fingernail marks

A simple moisturizer will should help get rid of scratch marks in a day or so. No big deal.

Rug burn

If you get rug burns, just rub your wounds with a good antibiotic and cover them with non-stick bandages so they'll stay moist until scabbed over. Again, not that big of a deal.

Suction marks

This can be one of the most common types of injuries. When excessive suction is applied to the skin, small blood vessels underneath it can break, causing them to spill blood into surrounding tissue, giving the skin a red color. These may change from red to blue to brown to yellow before it actually heals. Some vitamin K may help these "hickeys" heal faster. You could also look for some cream containing phytonodione. Hell, there's always the choice of buying a turtleneck, too.

Bite wound

Oh boy. As you may know, the average mouth of a human carries many different types of bacteria, making them actually worse than an animal bite. If you receive one of these wounds, be sure to watch for redness, swelling, and discharge. If you happen to notice these signs of infection, consult a doctor for some antibiotics.

Leg cramp

Your legs are the most common area for cramps during sex. To avoid cramping, drink a good amount of water. If a cramp does occur, try and stretch it out a bit until it stops cramping.

Sore penis

You have to be one busy bee to get one of these. Pretty much just treat a raw penis like any other abrasion injury. Use moisturizing lotion to help speed up healing. By the way, try not to get carried away with it.

Penile fracture

When this happens, you'll hear a loud pop or snap. This will be followed by swelling, bruising, and of course extreme pain. Wrap some ice in a towel to put on your penis and have someone drive you to the ER. This may sound like an awful situtation but hey, at least you might get some people to sign your cast.

Injured testicle

You never know when those stray limbs land in unexpected areas. Of course, every man has experienced this at least once in their life. If it happens, just stick it out until the pain and nausea ceases. If it continues to hurt, lie on your back and place a rolled-up towel under your scrotum to prevent the blood from pooling. Then get some ice wrapped into a towel and hold it on their for 5-10 minutes. See a doctor if swelling and discoloration occurs.