Speed Scrabble brought to you by the makers of Morphine Monopoly
Made from original mohair this document has traveled from the farthest reaches of this building to inform you of a cool variation of boring game...
BECAUSE SCRABBLE SUCKS
Now everyone loves rules and thinks they should be followed without question; I won't have to explain to you the severity of breaking the rules.
Rule #1 Are you drunk? If you are playing revphil style... nice. But this is not an important rule, if in fact it can be called a rule at all.
Rule #2 You cannot enjoy normal scrabble. At least, not after you have played Speed Scrabble. Go find some people with nothing better to do.
Rule #3 Someone (one of the 3-5 players we at Speed Scrabble Inctm suggest you play with) has to eat the board. It is of no consequence in Speed Scrabble
Rule #4 Turn over all the characters and scramble the living hell out of them (no that was too much, unscramble them slightly... good)
Rule #5 Every player gets 7 characters (unless you want more, or less, but people should be equal, in theory)
Rule #6 arrange your letters into a word(s). Whoever is the first to use all of his or her tiles says "take one" ("go" and "Eat a Steaming Karl, Hosers!" are also acceptable)
Rule #7 EVERYONE takes another tile and continues to build a crossword. You may rearrange your tiles as you see fit.
Rule #8 Continue until the last tile is used. The first person to incorporate all his or her tiles into a crossword that does not suck, wins (meaning, if other people are upset because they have a better understanding of "language" then you then you may find that the other players will begin to ignore you when you triumphuntaly yell "DONE!"
Rule #9 If you finish first, but have no interesting words in your crossword than your victory is hollow. You should feel bad.
*other variations are better, you figure them out for yourself, fucko