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What does E2 not have that all major newspapers have? (except a horoscope, comics, a sports section, news reports, reporters.... okay, okay, enough already! We get the point!) That's right: a crossword puzzle. So I bring you the first E2 crossword puzzle:

The First Fantastic E2 Crossword Puzzle

Okay, forget the fantastic part.

     _____________________________________
     |1 |  |  |2 |  |3 |  |4 |  |5 |  |6 |     
     |__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|
     |  |##|##|  |##|  |##|  |##|  |##|  |     
     |__|##|##|__|##|__|##|__|##|__|##|__|
     |7 |  |8 |  |9 |  |  |  |##|10|  |  |
     |__|__|__|__|__|__|__|__|##|__|__|__|
     |  |##|  |##|11|  |##|12|  |  |##|  |
     |__|##|__|##|__|__|##|__|__|__|##|__|
     |13|  |  |14|  |##|##|  |##|  |##|  |
     |__|__|__|__|__|##|##|__|##|__|##|__|
     |  |##|15|  |  |##|16|  |17|  |18|##|
     |__|##|__|__|__|##|__|__|__|__|__|##|
     |  |##|  |##|  |##|  |##|19|  |  |  |
     |__|##|__|##|__|##|__|##|__|__|__|__|
     |##|##|20|  |  |  |  |  |##|##|  |##|
     |##|##|__|__|__|__|__|__|##|##|__|##|
     |21|  |##|##|  |##|##|##|22|23|  |##|
     |__|__|##|##|__|##|##|##|__|__|__|##|
     |  |##|24|25|  |26|  |27|##|  |##|28|
     |__|##|__|__|__|__|__|__|##|__|##|__|
     |29|  |  |  |##|  |##|30|  |  |  |  |
     |__|__|__|__|##|__|##|__|__|__|__|__|
 
Across

1. I would not serve this preserved vegetable at dinner (6,6)
7. This does not make a good bra (4,4)
10. the wandering jew (initials) (3)
11. You can node like this with Chatterbox (2)
13. The cool stuff on the front page (5)
15. Everything Version (3)
16. I can do this 3 times a day (5)
19. Specializes in Ninja Perl Action(4)
20. What soy makes you (6)
21. What Cool Man Eddie, TheBooBooKitty and The Oolong Man have in common (2)
22. This crushes enemies (3)
24. Inexperienced noder (6)
29. The other thing that you can eat and gets noded about a lot (4)
30. We'll do this when we die (5)

Down

1. These ideas have already occurred to others (7)
2. You do not need this to produce infinite power (3)
3. He whose name shall not be mentioned (4)
4. Plays Eat poop you cat (6)
5. Almost killed herself masturbating (7)
6. It is of utmost importance that you do this to yourself (5)
8. The Canadian foetus (6)
9. When you'll get all your votes back (8)
14. Award winning (initials) (2)
16. According to Webster 90210, this is "an obs. form of began, imp. & p. p. of Begin" (3)
17. How you log when you enter E2 (2)
18. These nodes fucking suck (4)
21. Or you can node like this with Chatterbox (3)
23. There are this many dem bones on E2(3)
24. Am I the greatest or am I the greatest? (2)
25. Short form of editor (2)
26. leary's initials (2)
27. electricsound (initials) (2)
28. The way you are going to vote on this w/u (2)

Please keep in mind this isn't supposed to be hard. It's just supposed to be fun. And I wish to apologize for a couple of things:
1) I'm sorry that some of the clues are so lame.
2) I'm sorry my ASCII art sucks so badly. All I can say for in my defence is go look at Pseudo Intellectual's ascii hat.

For the solution, click here.

I enjoyed Footprints's crossword so much that I started fooling around with this last night, and before I knew it I was done, or at least nearly done. So here's another one.

I decided to adhere to the standard New York Times-style format: 15x15, with antireflective symmetry. Enjoy. The answers are at The First Fantastic E2 Crossword Puzzle (solution).

Notes:

  • A few answers are kind of stretches, because I couldn't make anything else fit. Go easy on me, it's my first crossword. It's hard to make all the horizontals match up with all the verticals and still be words.
  • For non-US crossworders: standard crossword convention is that an answer will follow the form of the clue, so if (say) the clue contains an abbreviation, so may the answer. A question mark at the end of a clue serves as a sign that there is something tricky about the answer: it is a play on words, a bad pun, something like that.
  • Even though I checked them twice, I have almost surely made a mistake in numbering the clues, so /msg me with problems.

+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|1   |2   |3   |####|4   |5   |6   |7   |8   |####|####|####|9   |10  |11  |
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |####|####|####|    |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |####|####|####|    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|12  |    |    |####|13  |    |    |    |    |14  |15  |####|16  |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|17  |    |    |####|####|18  |    |    |####|19  |    |20  |    |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|21  |    |    |22  |23  |    |    |    |24  |    |    |    |    |####|####|
|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |####|####|
|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |####|####|
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|    |####|25  |    |    |    |####|26  |    |####|27  |    |    |28  |29  |
|    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |
|    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|####| 30 |####|31  |    |    |####|32  |    |    |    |####|33  |    |    |
|####|    |####|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
|####|    |####|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|34  |    |    |    |####|####|35  |    |    |####|36  |37  |    |    |    |
|    |    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |
|    |    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|38  |    |####|39  |40  |    |    |####|41  |    |    |    |####|42  |    |
|    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |
|    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|43  |    |44  |    |    |####|45  |46  |    |####|####|47  |    |    |    |
|    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |    |
|    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|48  |    |    |####| 49 |    |    |    |####|50  | 51 |    |####|    |####|
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |####|    |####|
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |####|    |####|
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|52  |    |    |53  |    |####|54  |    |####|55  |    |    |56  |####|57  |
|    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |
|    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |####|    |    |    |    |####|    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|####|####|58  |    |    |59  |    |    |60  |    |    |    |    |61  |    |
|####|####|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |
|####|####|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|62  |63  |    |    |    |    |####|64  |    |    |####|####|65  |    |    |
|    |    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |
|    |    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |####|####|    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|66  |    |    |####|67  |    |68  |    |    |    |69  |####|70  |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|    |    |    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+
|71  |    |    |####|####|####|72  |    |    |    |    |####|73  |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|####|####|    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
|    |    |    |####|####|####|    |    |    |    |    |####|    |    |    |
+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+----+

Across

1. Part of notable E2 aphorism, with 58 across
4. Organizer type
9. They make pizza boxes
12. Horny E2 Conflagration loc.
13. Recommendation sans signature (abbr.)
16. /msg?
17. Instructs the teachers, sometimes
18. Bad news for a fighter pilot
19. Famous Paul
21. A game, as sensei would have named it?
25. Boot
26. They are noteworthy for their speakers (abbr.)
27. Topological troubles
31. Incompressible datum
32. Music standard that doesn't upset the RIAA
33. Old net encoding scheme, with '-13'
34. Bovine prophecy
35. Video quality meas.
36. Our chief coder, if he had appeared in the Canterbury Tales
38. Bad sentence separator when speaking in public
39. Needed to create a writeup
41. the ends of freshmeat and slashdot, but not everything2
42. Not. in measure theory, or animated movie ender
43. Kevin Smith character
45. Hard drive catalogs, to some
47. You aren't a little short for a marsupial editor?
48. Lots of cools will help with this
49. It's why we're here
50. Memory, of a type
52. Not everyone does it to factual writeups
54. Where that nice wizard is
55. Phantom Tollbooth hero
58. Part of notable E2 aphorism, with 1 across
62. Simplify, Simplify, Simplify! result
64. Dark, dangerous & on the X-files
65. Porcine gathering host
66. Popular scripting language
67. Type of remains for an editor
70. Logical operation
71. A pedant can prevent you from doing this to him/her
72. lacking a certain color
73. The first shall be last?


Down

1. Most unfortunate administrative nickname
2. New Mexico's 51
3. the way in which i can make an appearance before part of the power structure of E2
4. Sometimes it comes before Linux
5. "Your node sucks, fool!"
6. A rather clean object access protocol
7. Where I left my guitar pick, maybe
8. Amtrk.
9. New John Lasseter film: British politician CRUSHES ENEMIES!
10. You're one, but you're not the same
11. Negatory, in Niece
14. Loc. for some M-noders
15. Still a manner in which some of us can suck
20. Not equal to itself, according to the IEEE
22. All writeups begin this way
23. Way to annoy wharfinger after "neither you"
24. Supplicant request to a god
28. What the node tracker does to your writeups' rep
29. What buns are made of, sometimes
30. Dai-un's Memory is one
34. jaypea may address you this way
35. When a bunch of people really dig something
37. Account of an E2 gathering, ______ by various noders
40. Most obtuse, to everyone
44. Least obtuse, to noether
46. Two noders' nics
50. LPGA Golfer ________ Klein
51. Noder with nic showing lack of respect
53. Not Dum
56. Screwed up even more than by greenhouse gases?
57. Kind of physics
59. Poor soul who operates a data terminal (abbr.)
60. Goes before nail and I
61. Our first try at this was 69. Did we get there? Of course we did.
62. Option when buying "The Matrix" on DVD
63. ECM analogue in Neuromancer
68. Org. for an addiction other than E2
69. Larry Wall creation, before Perl

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