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Tongue-in-cheek... and it goes from there.

Everyone knows that person in the club who boasts the ability to tie a cherry stem into a knot with their tongue. Such displays of oral prowess can send the drunken masses into a primal frenzy of competition for such a jewel of a mate. Or maybe they just say "Cool" and go back to their cocktails.

This is my confession.

Most bartenders will happily supply a person with two cherries if asked nicely. One can be palmed quite easily while weaving from the bar to one's friends. I would casually comment on my talent, and wait for the inevitable demand to prove it. The stem in my hand would already be carefully knotted as I popped my first cherry (untied) between my lips and went through the motions, working it around my mouth. Carefully hiding the knotted stem between finger and thumb, I would insert the dirty little secret into my mouth only to bring it out to the worship and envy of all. (ahem. Allow me my delusions)

In the end, though, I cannot recommend this brand of deception. Honesty is the best policy, and it can be embarassing to get cornered by a person bearing one stem and a healthy dose of skepticism, and you might find yourself swallowing your pride.

This is a great way to turn on a date, significant other, or that random hot person sitting at the bar. Or just to show off in front of your friends.

  • First of all, choose a cherry with a long stem. This makes things much easier.
  • After enjoying the cherry, put the stem in your mouth.
  • Chew the stem several times so that it is malleable but not mushy.
  • Fold the stem in half, so that it forms a "u" shape, with the curve towards the back of your mouth and the ends at the front.
  • Now cross the ends over one another, forming an "x."
  • Here's the hardest part (practice this!). Slowly, using your tongue, push one end of the stem through the loop formed previously.
  • You should be able to feel it as the knot slips into place.

Voila!

It's been said that if you can do this, you are an excellent kisser... among other things.

((nodeshell rescue))

Tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue is a great way to show off your incredible tongue skills. Needless to say, people with skilled tongues are better kissers, better in bed, better at.. well, at all of the many uses for the tongue. So without further ado, here is my method for tying a cherry stem in a knot with your tongue:

  1. Bend the stem in your mouth where it folds over, like this:
  2.    _
      / \
      \ /
       X
      / \
     /   \
    /     \
    
    
  3. Press the lower end of the stem to the roof of your mouth with the back of your tongue (so it can't roll) and use the tip of your tongue to fold the other end of the stem under, toward the loop.
  4.    _
      / \
      \ /  /
       X  /
      / \/
     /
    /
    
    
  5. Keep the back part pressed to the roof of your mouth with your tongue, brace the loop with your teeth, and use the tip of your tongue to push the free end through the loop.
  6.    _
      / \
      \ X
       X \
      / \/
     /
    /
    
    
  7. Once then nub of the free end is through the loop, grip it with your teeth and use your tongue / lips to pull the knot tight.
  8. 
     \
      \
       X\
      ( X  Congratulations! (You've made bad ASCII art!)
       X/
      /
     /
    
    

You're on your own after this. I usually spit it out on my plate or napkin when nobody's looking. You may be inclined to pull it out with your fingers, but that will make people think that there was some trickery involved, not pure tongue skill.


Alternative Method (This is technically cheating)

  1. Tie a cherry stem in a knot with your fingers.
  2. Slip it into your mouth when nobody is looking. Don't swallow it.
  3. Get everyone's attention, and
  4. Put an untied cherry stem into your mouth.
  5. Churn your mouth around, like you're really working on something, then
  6. Remove the previously-tied cherry stem. You can swallow the untied one if you don't want to get busted, or slip it out when you're done signing autographs and getting phone numbers from hot members of the opposite sex who are insanely attracted to you..

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