In my life, I've had many and varied careers. I've never liked doing the same thing for too long. Sometimes I couldn't keep a job to save my life.

I enjoyed participating in the development of the meson oven. Being the president of Swaziland, and later deposing myself, added an interesting twist to my resumé.

But I was really out of my league when I tried my hand at marketing.

I was working at The Coca-Cola Company, designing ever more fanciful hyphens for new designs for cans, bottles, and sports stadiums, when there was an all-hands-on-deck memo from the suits who rarely left their glass-enclosed floors of the headquarters office: the world's sudden preoccupation with obesity had focused on our product, and we needed to do something about it.

I accidentally walked into a brainstorming meeting and opened my mouth with an idea from who knows where. Hey, nothing's too stupid, right?

And they made me head of the project. My concern about the budget was swept away; the very existence of the company was in peril.

So the animal trainers were hired, the helicopters were revved up, and we hied ourselves north. It took the trainers several weeks to get the idea across, but eventually the bears got the idea and shooting started.

And wonder of wonders, I actually saved the company. People got the point even without the subtitles that I had thought would be necessary: See? They were fat even before discovering the ecstasy we brew from the cola nut!

And I even came in under budget (and we're still sending them a hundred cases every month). The stock options I got from that are keeping me on easy street, but I'm still looking for my next venture. Any ideas?


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