My Cat Shaving Experiences.

A Humorous Look At How to Bruise a Cat's Ego.

OK.OK. I know that cats probably don't want to be shaved, and there are those out there that would might even consider it cruel. But they sure do look funny when they've got a nice shaved pattern in their fur. Seems to take some of that "cat attitude" out of them.

So here are some things to consider if you ever are considering shaving your cat:

  1. Your cat does not want to be shaved. This is a problem as cats are armed with all those claws, fangs, and the will to use them. Consider declawing your cat if you will be shaving it on a regular basis.

  2. There are many exquisite patterns you may want to try out:

    1. Boots and a Helmet: this is when you shave everything but their feet and their head. This is probably one of the easiest and best cat ego crushing cuts you can do. Patterns are difficult to do with a fighting cat, so this one is for the animal lover just starting out with his first pair of clippers. A pair of those humming hair clippers with a #2 or #3 attachment will do nicely. Don't forget to leave a tuft of hair and the end of the tail for added humor effect.

    2. Rings: Also a very humbling experience for your cat. Shave rings up all the legs and around the body of the cat. Once again leave the head alone. Cats really don't like you messing with their face, and you do love your cat, don't you?

    3. The Spiral: A more advanced technique. You must either have a calm cat, or you sedate it. We shaved our cat in a spiral right after we had him neutered. Imagine his surprise when he woke up. Ouch! We started at the base of the neck and worked our way around the body and all the way down the tail until we shave one continuous spiral all the way down the cat's body.

    4. Words: With a smaller set of clippers, you can shave words right in the cat's body. It can be your name. your cat's name, or even an expletive followed by your ex-girlfriend's name. Let your imagination run wild. I shaved my initials in my cat's side so he would know who his daddy is ;-)

    5. Pictures: This is for the advanced cat artist. Go wild with whatever your mind can dream up and get on that cat. Once again, you're gonna either have to make friends with the cat or sedate it for this one.

  3. Remember each cat is different. Some cats even like being shaved (not many). Some cats even think they are cool after being shaved. Effects may vary. Experiment and see what your cat doesn't and doesn't like and adjust your technique accordingly.

Pardon my sillyness ppppplease. Intended for humorous purposes only. I don't really shave my cats... anymore. Oh no the politically correct are voting me down.. AAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH! :-)

Log in or register to write something here or to contact authors.