Where feminism lost me

June 12, 1993 when I noticed the proliferation of Male bashing bumper stickers in my area and realized that the feminist movement (at least in its radical incarnation) no longer was representing equality (a concept I am all for) but superiority (a concept I abhor). Seems to be a trend in oppressed groups, that once the yokes of oppression are removed and the path toward equality is established and progressing that a minority leader of some sort and will start preaching not just equality but superiority over the group that formerly oppressed them.

I think that when one steps back and looks at the big picture, any group is just as fucked up as any other group, despite shining individuals who may rise above the rest, but then no individual should be used to judge a group as a whole. Individually humans can come across as great thinkers, inventors and leaders, but when you step back and look at the whole (majority) we're pretty dull, uncreative and have a tendency to act like sheep(for proof of this see your history books, everything from organized religion, LA riots, Nazi Germany to Jim Jones' cult...)

This is the first in a series of where things have lost me, the second is Where Organized Religion lost me.

I am of the belief that equality should be all-encompassing. That is to say, that for example, the women of the world don't get to march for (and gain, of course) the good things and leave out the bad -- that leaves inequality in favor of them instead of the men of the world.

My favourite example of this is the draft in America. Why don't women have to register for the draft? They want equality, and I'm all for giving them equality.. which includes the chance of being drafted as a soldier along with the right to vote and equal wages for equal jobs and all that other froofy wunky stuff.

Of course, women should have had equal footing in the first place, but our society starting out as the patriarchy that it was, it's kinda the unfortunate truth that roles developed unevenly between the sexes. (And of course, not many primitive societies didn't develop as matriarchy or patriarchy.. I can't think of any off the top of my head that didn't go one way or the other.)

On another note, do you have any idea how hard it is to get a college scholarship that isn't merit-based when you're a wasp?

If I were ever to turn away from feminism, or at least stop defining myself as one, it will be to finally get away from people who use semantics, misrepresentations of past "mistakes" of the "feminist movement", stupid quotes from people who were writing 30 years ago and actions of individual "members" of said "movement" to sidestep the issue of inequality between the sexes.

You can call me whatever you like, including feminazi, pipe smoking cat loving dyke or brainless hysterical female. Whatever works for you is fine, just don't think you can sidetrack me with it.

I will not get into arguments on whether all men are rapists or not. I didn't say that and it's not my job to defend it. You want to condemn all of feminism because of 4 words (not, in fact) written by a woman none of whose work you probably ever read? Fine. You will be summarily added to the list of fuckwits on whom I shall not waste time, you can say that you left me speechless, and we'll both be happy.

I don't care in the least about your father, brother, cousin or next door neighbour who was the victim of "reverse discrimination". Give me verifiable statistics or leave me alone. Neither am I heartbroken that you can't get a scholarship to an academic institution on anything but academic merit. Boohoo for you, indeed. I'm sorry that you feel deprived by being the only one not to cheat the system, but there you have it.

I refuse to shed tears for those of you who get the occasional dirty look or hostile comment from an overzealous college student immersed in feminist literature. I have to live in the real world, my friends, and in the real world there is no look as dirty as that of a manager that won't give you a job, but would love you to give him one, if you catch my drift. So I don't whine about men being swine, and you don't whine about women being pissy about it. Deal?

Now, having said all that, if anyone still has anything substantial to challenge my feminism with, I'll be in the room labeled "leave your bullshit at the door".

It was all so simple; we were supposed to go to this cool new vegetarian place in Berkeley. Susan said their California rolls were just to die for. But I didn't know my way around San Francisco at all, and there wasn't room in Gloria's Toyota Matrix. Liz told me to follow them in my car.

Gloria smirked when she saw the '84 Cutlass I'd driven all the way from Hoboken.

"How many gerbils you got under the hood?" she asked. "I bet that thing flies like a fish on a bicycle. Try to keep up, honey."

And they all piled into her sleek new car. And Gloria just gunned it. She burned rubber like a hippie burns weed and took the corners like Stalin took Russia.

All I had were three good cylinders and a street map from 1963. I had no way of keeping up with them, so I just tried to keep them in sight.

I was managing to follow them okay, dodging drunken businessmen and baby-toting housewives and pamphleteering Gay Young Republicans who blithely ran out into the middle of the road as I stuck to the left lane. But then I got distracted by the flashing neon and blinking lights way off on the right hand side. It was the front of Ayn Rand's new men's clothing store, Atlas' Duds. Sharpest damn suits I'd ever seen, even if everyone warned me they fell apart if they got wet.

And in a blink, Gloria and her crew were gone.

 

TWAJS