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One of my favourite hobbies is making swearword combos. Sometimes a single word like fuck or shit just isn't enough, and you need the power of a multiple swearword combo to really express your feelings - a simple example would be "shitfuck". This fulfils the two basic rules of swearword combos:
  • It must sound rude - this one does, as it has two real swearwords in it.
  • It must sound like it might actually be a real word - this one sounds like some unpleasant scatological sex act that deviants get off on, for example.
So there we have it. These are some of my favourite swearword combos, most of them made by me, a couple I heard used by other people:

My mate Emmet and his friends once had a contest to come up with the most offensive sentence in a normal conversation - you had to say a short sentence with as many rude words in as you could manage. The winner at the time was "Shut your Christing fuckhole", until I breezed in with "Titfuck my cunting wankshaft". The master at work...

My mate's mate Phil told me about a great German insult he overheard, and while it's not strictly a combo, I feel it's worthy of inclusion. It's supposed to be one of those that lose something in the translation, ie sounding better in German, but I think it's superb: "Arse violinist". Fantastic, it's just got a certain something. It's meaningless, of course, but if you heard that somebody was an arse violinist, wouldn't you think they were probably a feckless, workshy fop? Anyway, it's got to be in my all-time top three... (Update: ilteroi tells me that the German word is actually "arschgeige" - yay!)


Although it's not related, a possible meaning of "arse violinist" can be found here - thanks to Sylvar for telling me about this write-up. Update: Ack! Oolong informs me that the writeup is no more. Now you'll never know. Tragic, really. Updated Update: Aha! Search on Google for butt-harp and faq, and you should find it, a story by a guy called Rich. This link still works as of 26th June 2002: http://web.bilkent.edu.tr/Online/FAQ/tmp/alt-butt-harp/faq/faq.html

Also, I highly recommend using the word fuck as a mid-word addition (or expletive infixation), as detailed in those two wonderful nodes...