personal experience

first an aside, (moving into the everything editor after using vi for a few hours is really confusing);)

for me ejaculation is just cumming, although correlated with orgasm, they are separate entities.

feelings after ejaculation are relief, satisfaction, it's a bit like blowing your nose. sometimes it happens quickly, sometimes there is a long build up and the relief is greater.

The relief is physical, it comes from the loins.

orgasm is a mental phenomenon. It has happened to me too too infrequently. It shakes you to the very core of your being, it feels like the top of your head is being unscrewed and light is being poured in. There is no room for thought as all of the fireworks going off in your head are getting in the way, it is trembling in your lovers arms not in control what you say, a babble of words flowing, i love you i love you hold me hold me ..,
you can't breath you're breathing too quickly and after, after somebody has tipped you up and shaken the insides of you out and around the floor and you are lying naked mentally and physically all you can do is lie there holding, being held, and sure you might have ejaculated, but who noticed?

i think anticipation, affection, trust are all required. medically its akin to a minor bout of epilepsy. you have to be able to trust the person that you are with as you are going to be revealing yourself so deeply to them. A girl i knew one brought me to orgasm by just trailing her hair across my back, back and forth, and kisses here and there.

Of course this is just my experience. I guess for everyone its different (otherwise why are there no "hair trailing across back" mags on the news stands?)