The Sunglasses Massacre
or How I learned to stop thinking and found a girlfriend on Tram Number Nine.
During the last several days I began to notice a trend here in Prague relating to men wearing sunglasses and men with girlfriends. Today I decided to put this idea to the test while coming home on Tram Number Nine.
Hypothesis: Of the men in Prague wearing sunglasses, an irrationally high number of them also seem to have girlfriends.
Observations: Sunday, 17 August, 1510 - 1540, Tram Number Nine.
As I rode the tram home I decided to take some notes on my hypothesis. Task one, observe men wearing sunglasses. Task two, observe to see if men wearing sunglasses are accompanied by a female.
Within the first few stops on the tram I observed at least five men wearing sunglasses. Of these men only one was not with a woman. This man, however, had obviously chosen to wear sunglasses for fashion reasons, based on his other attire.
Within the next few stops I became worried because the few more men that I saw with sunglasses on were not with women. I decided to pay closer attention, however. The key is to watch these men as they exit the tram. As most of the men exited the tram it became obvious they were with a woman, as they would pause and wait for her to get off the tram after them and then continue on walking together. One man with sunglasses did not get off with a woman.
Observing people on the streets as we passed, most men did not have sunglasses on, but the ones that did were accompanied by a female.
Almost all females with males who are wearing sunglasses are also wearing sunglasses, often of a very similar style.
Two men get on wearing sunglasses that are most defiantly not with any ladies. These two men, however, soon how themselves to be tourists who are probably just wearing their sunglasses in case they find a need for them.
Observation Conclusions: A strong ratio of 1 to 4 is apparent; though I did not take down exact numbers. If you subtract from these numbers men who are obviously tourists the ratio quickly changes to 1 to 5. (It should be noted that these few men wearing sunglasses but without a lady present does not mean that there is not a lady present in their lives, they were just not with one at the time.)
Possible explanations of such findings: I can only thing of two possible reasons:
- Women are attracted to men in sunglasses and therefore men with sunglasses are more likely to be accompanied by a woman.
- These men with sunglasses on are weak and feeble minded men that do whatever their women tell them to do. Therefore, women must be looking for men whom they can control.
Apologies: I know that this last conclusion seems harsh, but it does support other observation I have had lately, Such as:
The best way to scare-off a female is to discuss literature or politics or some topic that shows that you do have a mind of your own and can think for yourself.
End of Experiment