I am at an
art gallery. I have a big piece of
posterboard. One one side the words "This is a
telephone" are written. The other side is
blank. I dip a telephone into a nearby
bucket of
paint and write "This is a telephone" on the other side with the telephone. Then this big
goth guy at my school sees my
art and is obviously en
raged by it. "This is
crap!" he exclaims. "
This is the kind of stuff that makes bears devour their children!" Then I am at some
swamp house on the
bayou and my
sex-ed teacher is there and we are learning about
breasts. She pulls out some
statistic that southern girls' breasts are bigger on average than those on girls from other
regions. But she called them "
boobs."
Then I wake up and discover that I have ten minutes to get ready for school.