I was thrown in the garbage today. It was quite traumatic.
I fell in a crumpled dixie cup, getting my tail wet, then had to inch-worm my way up a toilet paper roll and jump over the edge of the bin. It was quite a ways to the computer but there was a breeze blowing through the house I thought to be strong enough to carry me away. When I jumped in the air gravity just dragged me down because of the added weight; so I had to inch-worm my way all the way up the stairs down the hall to the computer. This took me an hour.
Well at least there was some good news. No one is going to get assasinated today (assasinators are always kind enough to give the news a few days notice so they can have a good story ready beforehand). Apparantly Dick Cheney is going to die soon however, they already have an obituary (this is good or bad news depending on if you are on the left or wrong side of the isle).