Eat the f***ing muffin!

You think shouting at her like that is gonna work? Boy are you stupid. She's not going to listen to you, and she's certainly not going to eat on demand. Geeez, you should know her better than that.

"You're going to waste away, you look so skinny!" - Wow, very original, like she hasn't heard that before! You know, she'll be thinking that you're only saying that to be "nice" and that you are lying in order to trick her and make her eat.

"Can't you see what you're doing to the people who care about you. You are making them feel wretched, upset, and helpless!" - Guilt trip, sorry but its neeevver gonna work. The only thing you have accomplished by saying that, is to make an already guilty feeling person feel even guiltier and even more worthless. Because now its official not only is she herself not worth the air she breathes, but she also brings sadness and pain to the people around her.

"You look awful. You look really ill." - Way to go, insult her, lower her self esteem even more, yeah! What a clever person you are. You have obviously thought about what you were saying before you opened your big fat insulting mouth.

"Eat the muffin, plleeeeaaassee. For me." - Now this one may get a reaction, but only if she thinks you're stupid, and lets face it, you have just proved yourself to not be the sharpest knife in the drawer just by making that request. So ok, she eats your muffin/sandwich/chocolate (whatever evil food you have presented infront of her), and just what do you think she is going to do as soon as she is out of sight?! Well there are a variety of things she may try;
(i) straight to the nearest bathroom, fingers down throat, and ooops, there its goes, straight down the toilet.
(ii) She'll make up for the eating of the "bad" food by simply not eating for another couple of days.
(iii) Any other device she has found that works best for her, but whatever it is, it will be self destructive and not nice.

What should be made clear is that anybody with an eating disorder is not going to be miraculously cured by forcing them to eat a bloody chocolate bar. Apart from the fact that many times it has nothing to do with food, it is also one of the most stupid assumptions made by people. I am not saying that the sufferer should just be left to slowly destroy theirself, only that having food practically forced down their throats, be it literally or through guilt and anger, just doesn't work.

So please please please, next time you think of making some comment to somebody who you believe to be in need or your "wisdom", think. Think about it, are your words going to help at all, or are they going to do what most well meant words of the same ilk have done, succeed in making the situation even worse?

(Please note: I used the words "her" or "she" not to say that only girls have eating disorders, but because it was just easier to stick to one sex. I am fully aware that these horrible illnesses can affect both sexes.)