Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Not a biological relative. When he was fourteen, he needed a place to stay. My sister had an extra room. He moved out in his twenties"

• He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• If a frog had wings, he wouldn't kick his tail when he jumped
• When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
• He stretched out his arms but she was not there
• When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
• He Had Not Where To Lay His Head
• The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
• Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Charlie squats in the bush, he gets stronger.
• I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
• As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
• He was hard in all the wrong places
• I'm not HIS sister; he's MY brother
• So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
• It was late when he came home; it woke you up
• In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
• He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
• He comforted me when he thought I needed it, but never when I really did
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
• All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
• She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
• Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
• She was coming out as he was going in.
• When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• He who does not forget his first love will not recognize his last
• King George he had a Date
• It was 1992. He smiled.
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• St. Lucia in This Guy When He Died, Man
• He just left his body
• When Chopin finished a piece he stopped writing it
• He flops over and bonks his head
• In the end, he could quiet his mind only by dying
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• He is so heavy when he whispers
• I saved his life. He does not know it.
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• and slowly, stealthily, and half sideways looking, he placed the loaded musket’s end against the door.
• He throws his heart down like a gauntlet
• Don't believe the florist when he tells you that the roses are free.
• Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• making certain he was touching her
• He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
• He found a liquid cure for his landlocked blues
• As the band laughed, her finger traced his spine, and he folded into her
• Why would he want a writer when he could have a dancer?
• At least he was gentle
• He had something to say. He said it.
• When a man lies he murders some part of the world
• He lived in southern California with his tanned, powdered mother
• I cried when he threw away the paper towel on top of the microwave
• why is the great man great? he keeps on running through a world of his own.
• All he left her was alone
• I had no idea what he thought about me.
• He had a life before he met you, you know
• He weaves his words
• He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
• His memory perishes from the earth, and he has no name in the street.
• She disappeared as if he had only dreamed her
• An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
• He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
• "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
• When he grins it is a thousand-word story
• He's dead, Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.
• He was found
• when you reflect that john now knows how he's going to die.
• sometimes, after an adventure, he likes to sit out there and think
• I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
• That's Just How He Was
• I should ask my barber where he gets his hair cut, then go there and slowly make my way up the chain
• I kicked the Martian in his otherworldly balls, and he screamed like the solar wind howling through a planetary magnetosphere
• He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
• he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
• She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
• Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
• To me he is a daisy and I keep trying to count his petals
• When the principal laughs so hard he can't suspend you
• Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
• More than he was willing to give
• He Died with a Felafel in His Hand
• He's been places they have not.
• He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
• He Was a Crook
• Sometimes I think he forgets, and I need this, this night
• He Has Left Us Alone But Shafts of Light Sometimes Grace the Corner of Our Rooms
• He's a feminist. He tells that to all his mistresses.
• Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• He will have the taste of warm ripe fruit in his mouth
• He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
• he had a dream
• He is honest and forthright with strangers. He reserves his lies for his family
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
• When he became an old man
• The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
• I married him because he was not mean
• She grew a little older, while he was telling her
• It's easier to kick a praying man, because he's on his knees already
• he listened so well, he was still curious.
• The Message of King Sakis and the Legend of the Twelve Dreams He Had in One Night
• He needed to repeat some well-used mantra of love just one more time
• He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
• He wakes up everyday, puts an empty gun in his mouth, and pulls the trigger.
• He probably builds trebuchets still: Satan needs to modernize, like totally!
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
• Don't Go Out the Door
• So he's dressed a little differently and he has a halo-like light above his head.
• He began to learn that waste flows downstream. Imagine his surprise.
• She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
• How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
• He never killed a man that did not need killing.
• Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
• He Would Close His Eyes, and the World Would Burn.
• some say he was never here at all
• he is too shy to write his tale
• "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
• I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
• He Was Only Joking
• he was a punk poet himself
• mr. T pities the fool regardless of whether he is wearing his seatbelt
• He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
• He made a felon of himself and ended up a box in our spare room.
• He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
• He made a way to his anger
• Oedipus-Schmedipus, as long as he loves his mother
• He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
• Don't interrupt an enemy when they're making a mistake
• "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw
• The Story of Jason Squiff and Why He Had a Popcorn Hat, Popcorn Mittens and Popcorn Shoes
• the cutest baker in the room was making sadfaces at me when i walked out
• Shaymus is older than I thought he was
• Tom, He was a Piper's Son
• Some say he once killed a man with a guitar string
• Somehow he reminds me of my mother
• "Fill it in", he said.
• He and She
• He's got stacks and stacks of words that rhyme, describing what it is to lose
• He searches
• He who smelt it, dealt it
• A Quick One (While He's Away)
• In your guts you know he's nuts
• He giggles, as he wiggles
• He weighs the eggs of flies in spiderwebs.
• he touched me then, but I forgot to feel
• Surely he would remember this
• And we killed him and he's dead.
• He and she are one
• He (user)
• He ain't heavy, he's my brother
• In the dream he laughs and says, You thought they were graceful on the ground
• He who controls the past controls the future
• José Bové explains why he destroyed genetically modified maize
• What He Suffered
• He who has enough to eat does the hungry not believe
• In Your Heart You Know He's Right
• The one he murdered once still loves him
• he just died
• This guy in the computer lab who looks like he should be a doctor
• To the Memory of My Beloved Master, William Shakespeare, and What He Hath Left Us
• I didn't say he ate your dog
• Oh hey, by the way, he's the Antichrist
• If he's late, you can always start without him
• So, he's leaving
• He Hudas not pay
• He flew an A-10 Thunderbolt
• mad he (user)
• He's not heavy, he's just lame
• God has power, whether or not one believes in Her/Him
• Xiao Sha Lao He!
• He says she says
• I wonder if he ever thinks about me
• He makes me feel alone just by being there
• He Hate Me
• If he fell off the Co-op he'd land in the divvy
• He Really Wasn't That Great
• A man who never sees a pretty girl without loving her a little

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