Is it April Fools' Day yet?
Principia Discordia
00000
Ha!
Fooled You!
This is, in truth, a reworked hypertext introduction to the Omnia Discordia
that can, cONVENIENTLY, be used as an introduction to the Erisian Mysterees of an expanded, online Principia Discordia masquerading as E2, by any means necessary! Ha-Ha!
Lady, direct me to do the next most chaotic thing.
Let your whim, not mine, be done.
Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!
From threats to election integrity, to the spiraling climate crisis, to complex foreign conflicts, what lurks around in the nodegel before you is either the greatest work of literature known to man, the biggest load of crap, or a large toaster oven from Sirius. And, as we all know, "or" is not the same as the "exclusive or" (it can't get into the same sorts of clubs, for one thing), so this could very well be all three, if not all five. Some might argue that it doesn't really matter, and just point out that it's a magnificent mindfuck, regardless. Some of those might be right. And, if nothing else, it's at least some fabulous philosophical foreplay to stress the magnificence of the universe!
I have never met any of the authors of the works herein as far as I know (unless you count that mysterious man in black who took the money I buried in my backyard and chintzed me on my membership card); nor have I ever authored a famous work which incorporates Discordian themes (unless you count a few zine articles and several of my writeups, and are generous with the definition of the word generous); nor was I even alive when JFK was shot. I did exist for the election of Nixon as president and all the glorious, famous, and infamous points since, so far anyway. My introduction to all of this occurred sometime between 1984 and 1993, although it was probably High Weirdness by Mail in 1988 that was the cornerstone. This resulted in my glomming onto such relatives as the Church of the SubGenius, the Cacophony Society, Universal Life Church, Neoism, and the eventual re-aligning of my mind into integrating multi-denominational discordant modes of thought. To be fair, that didn't take a lot of effort. (Am fairly confident I should have used "grok" in here somewhere. Oh, well, maybe next time.)
I used to think something and now I think something else and have since moved on in my spiritual awkwardness from my early acolyte days -- currently I practice a form of mass media idol worship while diverting some of the masses with intellectual vapidness and Feel-Good-Faith technology. In my spare time, I dabble in profane humanism and trying to get other people to think and to think that it's, in reality, profound humanism. No one seems to buy it, yet, but I still lease hope space. Perhaps if I applied some self-discipline and put something on the market. Until then, there's always tyromancy!
This endeavor -- this translated transubstantiation of what was once a print media barrage into the divine HTML -- is the brainchild of Goddess, of course. It's since become a group effort, intentionally or otherwise, in an attempt to expand the confines of the original to stretch throughout the Erisian hyperspace that is the Internet, or at least the E2 nodegel. Everything is connected because everything that is connected is beautiful, thank Goddess. Or maybe the perfectibilists became bored and/or disillusioned. Who knows? Still, the hope is to eventually have a Principia that Kerry, Bob, Greyface, Team Jet-Poop, and the Duke of Orleans would all be proud of, and that will earn the contributors enough experience points and GPs to laugh at the gods and editors when they arrive. Hail Eris!
Why, one might ask, why now? Why, in these times of The Aftermath, do we need more discord? Can't one just turn on the ol' TV and get a big enough dose to last five lifetimes? We're entering the age of AI BS: it is the future now, the secondhand words are everywhere and plentiful. Well, the other day, a small gnome tunneled up from under the closet. His watch was of Swiss make, and I assumed him to be from Zurich, but still, one never knows. He spoke flawless Atlantean and told me through my pineal gland that what we were doing here was a Good Thing.
"The world tries to make itself out to be a very serious place, grasshopper, but We know it to be not true. Peoples is peoples. Hierarchy, the Grand Pecking Order, fame, fortune -- these make mere mortals into myths in their own time and legends in their own minds. Tear down these walls (but be sure to put some different ones in their places, so as not to frighten the rubes, and with or without windows, as you never know when one might need to defenestrate something). Add confusion to people's lives, so'n they might think from time to time. Knock those gurus offa their local maxima. All Hail Discordia!"
True, I may have dreamed it all -- after all, I don't speak Atlantean -- but then again, there was that Yeti sidekick of his. I mean, how do you fake that? Anyway, whether there's a Deeper Meaning to all of this or not, we're young (in a manner of speaking), we're hip, and we're urban (despite it all), and we're bringing the Principia Discordia to you for your mind-altering pleasure. Don't have too much fun, now, kids!
By the way, please don't ever suffer under the misconception that this thing is done. The Omnia Discordia is a living document. E2 is a living data base and repository of knowledge. Around here, we don't believe that everything will ever be fully completed -- most are just a frozen moment in time if you will. For further enlightenment, consult your pineal gland itself and may it tingle with delight as you navigate the cosmic joke that is reality. The links in and out will probably continue to evolve in non-deterministic quantum jumps. In short, and it's probably too late, Everything is connected. Choose your own enlightenment. Create your own Temporary Autonomous Zone. Fully embrace LieQuest 2024: A Lie Quest of Mythologically Discordian Proportions or the Next Best Thing. Don't just tread in the footsteps of the saints, trample new ground. Make the connections, the truth is in here, even if lies are fun. Plant ye your seeds.
Lady, grant me the audacity to try to change the things I can't.
The apathy to skip changing the things I can,
And the ignorance to think there's a difference.
LieQuest 3190 - Omnia Discordia
posted this Sweetmorn, the 18th day of Discord in the YOLD 3190.
Custodial presence terminated.
End of transmission.