Programmers often have to have meetings with non-technical people. This may include managers, end users, marketing, or others. To best communicate with these people a rift has grown between what is said by a programmer and what he really means. Some examples are below.
Approaches Are Being Tried
We're still guessing.
An Extensive Report
Is Being Prepared For A Fresh Approach
To The Problem
We just hired three kids right out of college.
We know who to blame.
A Major Technological Breakthrough
It works okay, but looks very high tech.
Is Assured On Delivery
We are so far behind schedule the customer will be happy to get it at all.
Preliminary Operational Tests Were Inconclusive
The thing blew up when we ran it.
Results Were Extremely Gratifying
We're surprised the stupid thing works.
Concept Will Have To Be Abandoned
The only person who understood the thing quit.
It's Still In Process
It's so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is hopeless.
We'll Look Into It
Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
Please Read And Initial
Let's spread responsibility around for the screw up.
Give Us The Benefit
Of Your Thinking
We'll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn't interfere with what we've already done.
Give Us Your Interpretation
I can't wait to hear this BS.
See Me, Let's Discuss It
Come into my office, I'm lonely.
Parts not interchangeable with the previous design.
Years Of Development
One finally worked.
Savings are achieved when the power switch is off.
Impossible to fix if broken.