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!--begin rant

I know this will not do alot of good, but they're are a few things about some of the writeup's here that jus't bug the HELL out of me. Probly the first is, howcome you don't have to show proof of basic skill's to right hear?

I swear to God, the next time someone uses alot in my presence, I will rip the writing instrument out of their hand and feed it to them. I hope it's a keyboard. There is no such word, yet it is so pervasive I despair of ever seeing it disappear. Yet it's so simple: a lot is, and always has been two words. We don't write alittle, afew, or abunch, so you with the pencil, what makes you think alot is okay?

An apostrophe has two jobs. Yes, only two. It may show possession, as in "Mary's dog is a Golden Retriever.". It may also indicate a contraction. Even though "He is sick" is correct English, we usually say "He's sick." And merciful Father, from which trailer park did "He'is sick" come? Because I am a caring and compassionate individual, I will forgive the confusion between its and it's, except when the error is committed by someone to whom I pay money, either directly or indirectly, to communicate correctly. But every time I drive past "The Smith's", I cannot help but wonder, "The Smith's WHAT??"

Their is a fine word, but they're are three forms, the other being there. Like its and it's, this is one of those word groups anyone smart enough to know which end of the pencil makes the mark should know to be watching for. There (or should I say they're) aren't a lot of them in the language; writers should accept some minimal responsibility for keeping the major ones in line.

As if regular inability to spell weren't bad enough, those of us cursed with spelling sense have to deal with deliberate misspelling. Towne (which makes me think "townie" or "towny") is not, nor has it ever been, a real word. Ye simply means the (see etaoin shrdlu for an explanation of that one). When I see "Ye Olde Towne Pastry Shoppe", and yes, it's a real sign, I think two things: first, why did they leave the 'e' off 'Pastry', and, second, where's my spray paint? All I can say in response to such linguistic provocation is "pisse offe, idiote."

And regarding incomplete sentences. Hey, my fingers are bleeding. And the nurse says I need my meds now anyway. Another node...

!--end rant

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