Findings:
- When he was five, his father made him murder his imaginary friend.
- He had a prison of brass built in the hole, and then, when it was finished, he locked up his daughter
- He stretched out his arms but she was not there
- As I looked back, he was reveling in his own feces
- All the while he was talking she was thinking what his whiskers would feel like on the back of her neck
- He thinks a path and travels the emptiness that was there
- I'm the only person who'd ever told him to his face he was beautiful.
- When he was little, he laughed in his sleep.
- I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
- mr. T pities the fool regardless of whether he is wearing his seatbelt
- He is honest and forthright with strangers. He reserves his lies for his family
- At least he was gentle
- did i really change the way you think about everything? was it the chemicals in your brain?
- He Died with a Felafel in His Hand
- All he left her was alone
- How the Old Woman Took Care Of Candide, and How He Found the Object of His Love
- I think this boy's cheese has done slid off his cracker
- Jesus said, "I love him, for he is my brother." He was talking about everyone.
- i was richer for having known you, friend
- He who does not forget his first love will not recognize his last
- sometimes, after an adventure, he likes to sit out there and think
- So he's dressed a little differently and he has a halo-like light above his head.
- If a frog had wings, he wouldn't kick his tail when he jumped
- More than he was willing to give
- I Think I was Born in the wrong Hemisphere
- unfortunately, his entire corpus was composed in English, and so has been lost to the ravages of time
- when was the last time you experienced something you didn't think was possible?
- I don't think the sun was up
- My man was shot for his sheep coat
- How many times has God twiddled his thumbs before he put vertebrates on the Earth?
- Friend, you have a lot to learn if you think loving me would be a bad idea.
- He will have the taste of warm ripe fruit in his mouth
- Tom, He was a Piper's Son
- He lived in southern California with his tanned, powdered mother
- He Had Not Where To Lay His Head
- "He was a terrible man," she sobbed, between bites of alimony
- He was an ant on an ill-defined mission. She was the trapdoor spider of love.
- he listened so well, he was still curious.
- He found a liquid cure for his landlocked blues
- When I was 21, he was building a Time Machine
- He Would Close His Eyes, and the World Would Burn.
- judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
- Oedipus-Schmedipus, as long as he loves his mother
- His ex-wife was so frigid, her clitoris was only the tip of the iceberg.
- He Was Only Joking
- His version was better
- I think I was watching the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
- If the Windows source code was leaked, what do you think would happen?
- The cult leader poured himself a drink and started on about his plans, and I wondered how the priest was getting on
- I'm starting to think I was a waste of a perfectly good placenta
- Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends
- he was alive, and some of the other people, they were carbon copies
- My friend is dating someone who likes him far more than he likes her
- I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
- So I was balls deep in the guy's ass that night when he turns to me and asks for a kiss. Damn. What a fag.
- "I see," said the blind man to his deaf wife as he picked up his hammer and saw
- In any world in which i was your friend for even a day, i am grateful.
- He weaves his words
- She doesn't know what he sees, but sometimes it makes his face beautiful
- I'm not HIS sister; he's MY brother
- An ocean away and here he was, seeping into her
- Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
- Of King Sigmund's last battle, and of how he must yield up his sword again
- I knew enough about him to know his name and what kind of snowball he could make
- In which Human Craig tries to debrief his alien friend
- He was the kind of man who shacked up for shelter
- why is the great man great? he keeps on running through a world of his own.
- and he thinks he (user)
- He wakes up everyday, puts an empty gun in his mouth, and pulls the trigger.
- He was like the bottle of Champagne Krug
- He throws his heart down like a gauntlet
- Meanwhile, the PILOT, who has been laughing hysterically through the entire sequence, finally loses it. He falls out of his chair and bangs his head against the panel, causing the ship to lose control and crash into a nearby planet
- Amakuni once drew an old sword of his from a box, suddenly overjoyed by something he had cast aside.
- He began to learn that waste flows downstream. Imagine his surprise.
- I should ask my barber where he gets his hair cut, then go there and slowly make my way up the chain
- you're just a centipede who thinks he's master of the forest
- Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him
- He made a way to his anger
- His love was enormous; it cleared rooms that desperately wanted to be full.
- I was floating in the ocean of his eyes.
- because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
- Johnny Clueless was there, with his Simulated Wood-Grain
- He was a man stuck between the objective and the subjective
- What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
- His collection of substances that should not exist was stolen. The thieves then killed themselves 1000 times over.
- but you had his eyes and that was sort of almost enough
- She moved so easily all I could think of was sunlight
- I think I was a pterodactyl and you were the tiniest rodent
- I don't think I was rude to her, just cold and curt
- Seriously, though, who the hell did I think I was going to become?
- You'd think a cookie killed his dog
- He just left his body
- I used to think of sobriety as a purgatory, and that to be under the influence of drugs was relief from it. Now that I'm older I believe the opposite to be true.
- i think it was (user)
- someday, when she will think back upon the time when she was as yet undishonored
- What to do if your friends think you are an agent of the Old Ones
- I was wrong as a child, to think old people were stupid for asking me where the day had gone. Now I understand... we older people do not live.
- he is too shy to write his tale
- How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
- He's dead, Jim. You grab his wallet, I'll grab his tricorder.
- Upon the death of Levon Helm and while considering his friends
- As the band laughed, her finger traced his spine, and he folded into her
- I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
- Shaymus is older than I thought he was
- He's a good guy friend
- Then again, maybe he was recruiting for a cult
- It was late when he came home; it woke you up
- He flops over and bonks his head
- To me he is a daisy and I keep trying to count his petals
- He thinks I don't, but I do
- My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
- In a quiet grove of pines under a frosty sky, he helped her out of the sack. She wore severe white hospital pajamas and was beautiful.
- In the end, he could quiet his mind only by dying
- Mr. Lunch liked to chase birds. In fact, he was a professional.
- He was confirming to himself that they were laughing with him after all
- I married him because he was not mean
- I wonder if he ever thinks about me
- She grew a little older, while he was telling her
- Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
- He wasn't programmed to be a tenor, he was programmed to be a physician!
- I was a bitter, purple-haired fat girl, and I had plenty of male friends
- Sometimes I think he forgets, and I need this, this night
- How Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends wrecked my love life
- He Was a Crook
- He dreamt he was a bulldozer, she dreamt she was alone in an empty bed
- The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
- It's easier to kick a praying man, because he's on his knees already
- She had become a mutton for punishment and he was a wolf
- It was 1992. He smiled.
- He's a feminist. He tells that to all his mistresses.
- The girl didn't know if she was loved until he said yes.
- He was born with the gift of logic but the inability to use it
- He made me promise I would do this when I was next sad. So I promised myself I would not be sad again.
- A bit of a poet that thinks he's a pirate
- The Trial: Andrew Johnson was not guilty of the crimes for which he was impeached.
- His memory perishes from the earth, and he has no name in the street.
- He probably thinks he is doing fine
- The Marlboro Man died of cancer, but he wasn't a rocket scientist when he was healthy, ha ha ha.
- I saved his life. He does not know it.
- She was coming out as he was going in.
- The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
- He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
- some say he was never here at all
- She didn't write like Emily Dickinson, but she did live in a house overlooking a cemetery, and I guess he thought that was important.
- He tells me that I could have his heart and I want to take it right then, slip it into my pocket and run
- That's Just How He Was
- He was hard in all the wrong places
- Once there was a bug in a hole that he dug
- I kicked the Martian in his otherworldly balls, and he screamed like the solar wind howling through a planetary magnetosphere
- The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
- There Was A Friend
- I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy
- Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on Earth?
- He was there, and then he wasn't, and with him went those memories
- making certain he was touching her
- I think he only loves the world for him.
- It Was a Lover and His Lass
- He called he his brother and spoke approvingly of my story
- Andycyca thinks about a topic he knows nothing about
- he was a punk poet himself
- He was found
- The time a thug punched my friend in the face because he could
- Fisherman's Friend
- I just want to be friends
- Friends and lovers, but sometimes just friends
- death of a friend
- Friends of the Swastika
- when it was done
- Can we still be friends?
- A Faraway Friend
- Oops, I can't find my best friend
- Farewell to a Friend
- Friend pheromones
- Outrun a speeding train
- Friend of the Devil
- How my friend embarrassed my stage speech teacher
- oil-water friend problem
- false friend
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