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My
legs are itching like crazy. I only shaved them
a little while ago, and they're already driving me
insane. No, wait, that not right.. the rest of the
world is driving me
insane.
Whenever I think about
school I get
depressed. Really, really
depressed. When I'm in
school I turn into this
self-loathing fake version of myself who pretends to
cope with
everything. It wears me out and I don't know how much longer I have before it starts to ...
starts to ...
God damn. I don't know what's gonna happen. I've never felt like this before.
Everything feels so
hopeless... I
wish I could just
quit school and move to another
province.
Start over.
I don't want to be here. I want to be --- I want to be left alone.
I don't want people to
expect me to change for them. I don't want them to
expect from me at all. I don't want to be
forced into making a
promise I can't keep... and either way
I can't keep this promise.
I can't believe I let myself get into this.
If I told anyone what I really thought, I don't even think they'd care.
"Don't be silly", they'd say.
"That's not what you really think", they'd say.
I've never not wanted to do something so much in my life.