The cartoon laws of physics (idea)

AMENDMENTS TO THE CARTOON LAWS OF PHYSICS

Amendment A: A sharp object will always propel a character upward.

• When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up, with great velocity.

Amendment B: The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters.

• Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will. For instance, the Roadrunner can materialize signs to express himself without speaking.

Amendment C: Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries.

• They merely turn characters temporarily black and smoky.

Amendment D: Gravity is transmitted by slow-moving waves of large wavelengths.

• Their operation can be witnessed by observing the behavior of a canine suspended over a large vertical drop. Its feet will begin to fall first, causing its legs to stretch. As the wave reaches its torso, that part will begin to fall, causing the neck to stretch. As the head begins to fall, tension is released and the canine will resume its regular proportions until such time as it strikes the ground.

Amendment E: Dynamite is spontaneously generated in "C-spaces" (spaces in which Cartoon laws hold).

• The process is analogous to steady-state theories of the universe, which postulated that the tensions involved in maintaining a space would cause the creation of hydrogen from nothing.
• Dynamite quanta are quite large (stick-sized) and unstable (lit).
• Such quanta are attracted to psychic forces generated by feelings of distress in "cool" characters (see Amendment B, which may be a special case of this law), who are able to use said quanta to their advantage.
• One may imagine C-spaces where all matter and energy result from primal masses of dynamite exploding. A big bang indeed.