It's been quite a while since I've written anything for
E2. I'm not sure I even remember how. Today is
Friday the thirteenth. If I can get up in time I'm going to the movies this morning with the mental health clinic I attend 4 times a week. We won't know what we are seeing until right before we leave.
This week has been a typical week for me, here's how it went:
- Thursday: Spent the day in bed, depressed. Ate a couple snacks and then had dinner at 7pm.
- Wednesday: Got up at 8am and went to the clinic for "clubhouse", picked up my meds (which have been changed again), then went to my mom's house and then to the college to get an appointment to register for fall and get my adapted testing form updated. Went back to mom's and cleaned out my car. Then mom and I took the twins and both cars to the car wash. This is a rare occurance, in fact I believe that is the first or possibly second time I've ever took my car to the carwash. After that I went home. Took a nap, and got on the computer.
- Tuesday: Got up in time to go to Living well group at the clinic at 2pm. Talked about my depression in group and got some feedback. Also got a suggestion that my chronic headaches may be caused by MSG in Ramen which is a large part of my diet. Came home and did the usual.
- Monday: Was supposed to be at the clinic at 9:30am for clubhouse but did not make it. I recently started a new medicine, Amitriptyline, to help prevent headaches which made me very groggy for the first several days of taking it and I was unsafe to drive that early in the day but I did get to the clinic in time for my 2:00pm appointment with my psychiatrist. I am now taking the following meds:
The only new med this month is the Lithium. I've been on other
mood stabilizers but never lithium.
Sunday: Spent the day at Disneyland with my mom and three of my siblings.
Saturday: Pretty much the same day as Thursday.
Friday: Went to a new neurologist. He didn't receive the CT scan of my back yet so all he could work on was the migranes.
I've been living on my own since mid-February. I have an apartment I pay for with the assistance of Section 8. It's just about ten minutes from my school and about 12 minutes from "home". I've kept up with my bills and have seen two bugs since I moved in, a cricket which I killed tonight, and a small black bug with wings I couldn't identify which I killed about a week ago. My bedroom is a disaster area but the rest of the apartment I have managed to keep up pretty well. I enjoy living on my own. It means I can eat and sleep when I want to and wear whatever I want around the house.
I go to Disneyland a couple of times a month. My whole family has annual passes. Most of the trips I go with my mom and young siblings ("the twins" who are almost 4 years old), and spend the day pleasing the little ones. It's not often that I go without them but I do occassionally get to go just with my 16 year old brother and we spend the day bonding on the "big rides". I love going to the Disneyland Resort even though it kills my back.
I'm currently out of school for the summer but at the end of this month I register for fall at Citrus and will be taking Intro to Cataloging (library science) and Psychology of Religion I. I am petioning for financial aid but there's a good chance I won't get any this year so I'm not quite sure how I am going to pay for registration and books. Hopefully I'll get some financial aid and if not hopefully my case manager at the mental health clinic can help me come up with the needed funds.
The depression is pretty deep right now but I'm still able to fake my way through on most days. The self-injury happens every few days and is not severe. The anxiety is mostly under control lately. The sleeping too much has been a problem but it's 5:15am and I haven't gone to bed (and I have my alarm set to get up at 7:15am). I just realized the time. I will now do one of two things:
- Finish my chamomile tea and go to bed
or - Fix a cup of green tea and take a nap after the movies this afternoon.
Either way I'll need a nap this afternoon.