Sitting here, trying to bang out a Daylog over and around my kitty. Pan's so damn pushy sometimes, but I seem to always make room for him....somewhere. Now he's stretching his paws and claws out into the air. And sniffing my chin. Goddess, there's nothing more amazing than unrequitted love. Purrrrrrr.....
I've been trying for the last week to literally DRAG myself out of this quagmire and I think I've just about reachd the top. That's the thing about having as high-highs as I do. The low-lows are killers! Okay, so I'm back.
My brother's here until Thursday, so I get to be his built in tour guide. Things were a bit weird when I found him last night. I know he doesn't like the idea of my being in this city...pretty much by myself. It's the old story of family legacy. Why be anywhere but with family? What? Family's no good? You too good for family?......No, on the contrary, Family too good for me right now.
Um, what exactly was it that dragged me out of this bullshit? Well, I guess my own sunshine. I made a new dream for myself today. I've decided to follow mum's footsteps a bit. You see, my mother lived for three years in Las Vegas where she worked as a blackjack dealer. I know this seems impossible, but I have two really good things going for me. One is I'm good with cards.....always have been. (I'm not bragging, but games are one of my strong suits. Ha, ha. Get it, Bear?) Secondly, a family friend works for The Sands as we speak. Connections, connections, connections......
Anyway, here's my angle. My father-in-law is always up for an adventure.....I want to propose something that might jumpstart both of us. He's meandering in temp jobs and certainly NOT satisfied......but how about working in Vegas half the year to start out with. We could get a place, maybe Sarah too, and work........damn, he'd make an excellent pitboss. I'd flip cards......my friend Michelle cleared 80 a year without even blinking......and have time to see the family on weekends.....it's not that bad of a drive. It would be exciting, and as long as we knew we could get out and go home sometimes, I don't see why not. I could afford to go to ASU for the other part of the year.......family debts would be paid......we'd all be together for the most part.
My thing is, what the hell else do we have to lose? Maybe I'm jumping the gun, but I KNOW I have nothing to lose. This would mean my clearing out when my six months is up.....why six months? That's a story for another time, but I have to have six months residence in MD in order to get some loose ends tied. It would probaly mean packing Satyr up, but it also would mean I could meet Kash out in Nevada in August. What am I gonna miss? I am not in a relationship.....whoa, that was weird, I haven't said that aloud yet.....I can always come and go as I please if I want to visit. I work ridiculously meaningless jobs......
So my plan is in it's embryotic stage, it just got conceived this morning......but every bright thought shines light so I can see into the future more clearly......I'm a tarot reader.....not a psychic. Big difference.
I have a lot of family out there, and a bare minimum here. There's new terrritory to be scoped. And I'm just itching to travel. I don't have a problem making acquaintances, my friends are spread out all over creation anyway. Hmmmm, you see where I'm going with this?
I don't know, I think it's time for sake and fish, Hon. Now, where is that brother of mine?
11:17 pm
Just got back from sushi with my brother and his co-worker, Bob. We went to Kawasaki and Mich O'Shea's. It was pretty good, seeing as my brother and I tried to eat one of those $80 boat-o-fish all by ourselves. Ouch, I hurt .....and I think I ate too much ginger too. Other than that....funny thing about Bob.....he IS decent looking for being MARRIED and almost 50. Satyr's right.(He got a look at him when they stopped by to have lunch today). He was extremely touchy-feely, and let's say I wasn't ready for that. I told Satyr the deal as soon as I got back. He laughed saying, "Who cares? If he's cute, fuck him. I mean, his wife's in Florida....", and as soon as the words were out of his mouth, his jaw snapped shut. I giggled and snorted, saying, "I don't think that's such a good idea...." andcarefully pussyfooted into the kitchen where I could bang shit out on the keyboard.
'Nother 5 am mornin' for me tomorrow.....I can't think about boinkin' anyone, much less a nice married guy like Bob.....The early bird may get the worm, but they sure as hell don't have any fun.