Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "The early bird may get the worm, but they sure as hell don't have any fun"

• The early worm gets the bird
• It did not get nicer, but it sure got a hell of a lot more honest
• The early bird gets the worm
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• i call my phone and i check my messages, but i don't have any messages
• The eyes of the dead may not blink, but they have been known to wander
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• Rape committed by women
• Ernie and Bert are not gay. They're puppets. They don't even have legs.
• The FOOLS! They laughed at my theories at the university, but I'll have my revenge! I'll have my REVENGE!
• The bastards got me but they won't get everybody
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
• Now there's revolution but they don't know what they're fighting
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• I Love Them But They Don't Love Me
• They call you heartless, but you have a heart, and I love you for being ashamed to show it. You are ashamed of your flood, while others are ashamed of their ebb.
• Living well is only the best revenge if they don't have a fuckable sibling
• Just when you get really good at something, you don't need to do it any more
• Things they don't teach you at law school but really ought to
• I would've taken an axe to it, but I'm pretty sure the dryad would have pulverized me
• English may be a "living language," but Latin is not -- so get it right.
• may you make mistakes large enough to learn from, but small enough that they do not destroy you
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• Why girlfriends get annoyed when they remember things you don't
• I don't have any secrets. Now ask me if I have any lies.
• you don't have to eat your dinner but you pay for your plate
• 1991-96 were more fun years, but I'll likely get more accomplished in the year 2000 alone
• "Of course humans aren't intelligent. They don't even have glurbleflukers. If you can't glurblefluke, you're not sentient."
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• Things you don't want to hear (but will) when you get into bed with a girl
• It would have been an excellent story but I had to get off the train
• I'm sorry I was speeding, officer, but I really have to get to the hospital
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• Car commercials that won't let you have any fun
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• Of course they want to come here. Who doesn't? Besides the people from Los Angeles, but we don't speak of them.
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• Guys who don't tell you they have a girlfriend
• We don't have time for this. None of us have time for any of this.
• Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
• Stoned music memories
• Where do dogs get their Vitamin C from, when they don't eat fruits?
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• They don't get it. Let them suffer.
• She really does want to clap along, but at the same time she doesn't want to let the bird get out.
• We don't have time. Not like they do.
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• Badgers? We ain't got no badgers. We don't need no badgers. I don't have to show you any stinking badgers!
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• Apple may have bought NeXT, but NeXT took over Apple
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• When you have a trip planned, but don't go, you need to cancel your reservations
• I don't have a soul. But something still hurts.
• I might not believe in God, but I sure as hell believe in the power of prayer
• You don't have any real problems
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• I've lost my memory but I have ink, so.
• You may be a noder, but you ain't no dancer
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• Your heart may be broken, but the world still rotates my dear friend
• but the worm ended up killing them too
• They know me not by name, but numbers
• He had fallen in love, but I'm pretty sure the hellhound was only in it for the belly rubs
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• The tattoo phenomenon
• I'm gay, but I'm not sure it's genetic
• No, but I'll have a beer
• We don't look for trouble but if it comes we don't run
• They blew up the world, but what really pisses me off
• But I have seen the sun just once
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• I will have her forever but I can't touch her
• I was pretty sure that wasn't how slasher films were supposed to end, but you won't see me complaining.
• You don't see the light at the end of the tunnel now, but it's there. I'm holding it for you.
• It doesn't get any better than this
• but don't take my word for it
• I don't want to wear your skin, but I will if I catch you!
• They wrote it all in perl but it was mostly system calls
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• I love you but I have to let you go
• I thought ALL women looked for a wedding ring when they talked to ANY man
• These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
• I get knocked down, but I get up again
• You can, but you may not
• I don't know who Amber is, but she's got a stalker
• They were looking for God but found religion instead
• But I don't want to pay for the obese smoking couch potato
• The Firestone dealership was full to the brim with cars. But I reasoned I would need a boat, since my desire was to go to Ireland. Just then a harsh reminder surfaced; water is expensive in hell.
• I wish I cared about the things you cared about but I don't.
• You don't know me, but someday you will
• Sex just walked by me, and I didn't get any, dammit
• Does war have any redeeming features?
• At least things can't get any worse
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• I'm at the station, but I can't get on the train
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• I can't get a girlfriend but my dog has a harem
• I don't know what he was listening for, but he wasn't listening
• Never imagine you have any idea what you're attracted to
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• If you don't know where you're going, any path will take you there
• I may be a trenchie bitch, but you forget we wear combat boots!
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• I appreciate your concern for others, but I need to get all my ducks in a row first.
• They do not know how immortal, but I know
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• Swim with the fishies, but remember you have wings
• He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he is our son-of-a-bitch
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• I'd love to stay and let you break my heart, but I have laundry to do
• I would kiss you, but I don't know how to kiss
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• War is hell but men like it
• I don't agree with what you say, but I will defend your other, less ludicrous opinion that glitch speed runs are pointless.
• They are all pretty but fading.
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• But I Don't Want To Take Over The World
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
• The Story of Augustus who not have any Soup
• And then they came for me, but the bridge would not ignite.
• In Which Ethel Gao Gets Off His Butt and Accepts the Call
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• Just when scratch pads couldn't get any better... (document)
• That man has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• Someone has writer's block but I don't know if I'm him right now
• The terrorists have already won "ANY BREAKFAST BAGEL SANDWICH" at McDonald's!
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• Sticks and stones may break your bones, but the tongue will crush you
• I have a most elegant proof of that, but this node is too small to contain it
• My library books are late, but I don't care
• But I don't want to be Princess Leia!
• He thinks I don't, but I do
• Talking like a pirate is fun but annoys people
• Don't litter, but go ahead and throw your cigarette butt on the ground
• Come back safe; we don't want any dead heroes in this family
• You may think I'm lying, but it's true
• There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how
• Self importance doesn't get you into heaven any more
• Don't take any guff from those swine
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• Being a dickhead
• Our hearts were hard, but they were warm
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• I'm not religious, but I think I have a close relationship with God
• A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true
• You want to reassure her, but you don't know where to start
• I don't Daylog but I'm Daylogging
• I would have tried, but Charlotte kept Charlotte in the world of Charlotte and she barely heard me
• because I have given up any care
• I Meant to have but Modest Needs
• Keep doing it, but don't call it that
• I may dream in technicolor, but I trip the fuck out in old-school black and white
• Men may cry "Peace! Peace!" but there is no peace
• their eyes meet for the first time, but they saw each other's hearts
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• So says the preacher man, but... I don't go by what he says
• the desert was once alive, but I don't remember it
• Perhaps pain will stop me where good sense and virtue have failed
• Do not mourn the day, for the sun shall rise, but you may not
• Starving in the greenhouse
• I suppose I could have married a World Cup soccer player, but I didn't
• Looking like a pirate is fun but only having one eye annoys me
• I'd ask, sure, I'd ask. But then, then you could say no.
• Spikey the Werm may be a Werm, but he's got quite an imagination nonetheless!
• How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
• Don't lament but rather embrace the removal of human interaction
• I didn't read it but I want to get into the author's pants
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• Cheers, my lips have frozen but hemlock goes down easy
• But alas, I have no badger to offer you

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