Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Actually I don't recommend watching Corpses EVER; honestly I think you'd be better off watching paint dry for two hours, but to each his own"

• every statue in town came to life, but they'd been watching long enough to know better than to ever move
• I think I was watching the most beautiful thing I have ever seen
• I don't hate people. Honestly. But the best conversation I've ever had still wasn't as good as the worst catnap I've ever had.
• As much fun as watching paint dry
• the emotional equivalent of watching paint dry
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• But I don't want to be Princess Leia!
• But there are NUNS watching us!
• What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• You Might Think It's Sexual But Actually It's Not
• For every rich man who tries to leave this world for a better one with his fancy tomb surrounded by mourners, there are many more who perish alone in the cold, forgotten by all but God.
• Two Men Meet, Each Believing the Other to Be of Higher Rank
• Hot pursuit
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• I cannot help but think in scenes and paint in memories
• He thinks I don't, but I do
• I don't know where he gets his words but I like them
• Ah, if you should turn out to be a fairy I don't think I'd put you in a jar
• Don't ever lie. If you lie to your friends, they won't trust you, and you'll have nothing, and you'll never be safe.
• "This sandwich is great, but it could be better if it had tomatoes and also gave me super powers."
• Take it til you make it, break it if you have to, but don't ever fake it.
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• Ever seen two people talking to each other in their sleep?
• i keep thinking that this rain could last forever and i don't think it could ever stop
• Watching two lovers part
• I don't think I realized what I had gotten myself into, but it seemed like the potential for fun and insanity were there in equal parts
• World, take care of me. You don't owe it to me, but I don't know any better.
• To Each His Own
• To each his own religion
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• You'd think a cookie killed his dog
• I don't want to be a weeping mass of emotion, but I am
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• Rebeca Martinez
• Don't be a smartass and offer up a contrived solution that *technically* solves the puzzle but goes against its spirit
• How to be a Jackass in your own home
• I don't see Heinlein writing books proposing that only farmers should be allowed to vote
• Don't Be Evil
• Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil -- for tonight I have broken my own heart, and my soul is too empty to be afraid.
• Sometimes I actually don't mind having the slowest modem in the world
• It's all a blank, which makes me think something far far worse has actually happened
• I don't want to be successful
• she's the reason the dust i finally leave will be better than the dust i came from
• I always knew I would have a 21st birthday but I never thought I'd be 21
• After today, for two people, the world will never be the same
• If you lived here, you'd be home now
• Spend an hour with us and you'll never be the same
• It's better to be heartbroken than to have a heart not worth breaking
• I may be young, but I'm not naive
• Could man be drunk for ever
• don't be a fool, it's nineteen-ninety-five, the girls are just friends
• In the movie of his life, the part of Keanu Reeves will be played by a block of wood, and the critics will pan it for being too expressive
• The zombie revolution will not be televised. But it will be tweeted.
• I don't always want you to be nice
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• You find yourself being chased not only by the bad guys, but also by what should be the good guys
• Things to consider if you think you might be a cartoon character
• I can't be a scientist because I don't believe in God.
• If you're not smart enough to figure this out on your own, you shouldn't be doing it
• I must die or be better
• Don't be smart too, I couldn't stand it
• All I ever wanted to be
• don't be absurd (user)
• Those who are as a light in the darkness shall ever be troubled by moths
• It is not our noise at all, but we are lucky to be listening
• Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
• We'd all be better off if shaking hands were making love, and children were found in the cabbage patch.
• Death may be the only goal you ever achieve
• My subconscious is much smarter than I will ever be
• It is far better to be bored by somebody else than to be bored by oneself.
• Don't worry, Be Happy!
• Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and start slitting throats
• If God had a cunt you'd be God
• It must be nice, having people in your life that you actually want to spend time with
• You are not Hunter S. Thompson. Don't be stupid.
• I Would Be Content To Live For But A Day
• When I look into her eyes, I no longer care about what the world thinks. This is what it feels like to be alive.
• his ability to be stubborn beyond comprehension
• This Star Wars sheet may be worth something, but I just need a tablecloth
• I think people would rather be happy than virtuous
• Why you don't deserve to be a professor
• I don't want to be alone
• Any odd number can be expressed as the difference of two perfect squares
• When, if ever, will there be permanent peace in the Balkans?
• I ought to be grateful, but instead I'm angry
• But, my dear sir, if you educate them, they will no longer be Baptists
• How to be a moron in any city but Baltimore
• Prepare me a ship of which the half-rotten timbers shall be painted black, let the sails be in rags, and the sailors infirm and sickly
• There has to be a better way to make human beings
• He may be a son-of-a-bitch, but he is our son-of-a-bitch
• I don't lose the irony that I believe my reflection to be a stranger
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• Be your own fiction. After that, the story almost writes itself.
• It is better to be thought a fool
• Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood
• We couldn't be anywhere else but here
• Be your own man
• If we were all part of one big television show, seriously, you'd be a poorly written character
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• I don't want to be here when you don't call.
• I will make your oppressors eat their own flesh and they shall be drunk with their own blood like wine
• Be careful and don't fall down
• Don't be sad, I'll make you happy
• Not to die but to be reborn...
• only cold little handheld mirrors in the wee hours of the morning can be trusted
• His retribution is likely to be epic
• You'd Be Surprised (user)
• If love was a circus, you'd be a clown
• No one can be in two places at once
• Don't be a monkey. Let go of the banana.
• Pirates and ninjas: why they should be friends but can't be
• Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
• Your first relationship will be nuked: Don't give up
• Don't be sad
• when I am King, we will have no such things, but, my lads, if the old king my father were dead, we would be all kings.
• Sorrier than I ever thought I would be
• "Life" appears to be a zero-sum structure, but we're running the numbers again
• The Saudis were terrified that someone was going to be a better Muslim than they were
• The votes can be divided into roughly two categories. Those that got it, and those that didn't.
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• Men are designed to be good hunters, but it's women who are born killers
• I don't plan to be dismembered in the next three months
• That'd be the butt, Bob
• How to be a better amateur astronomer
• Would you take your shoes back now, i think I know what it is like to be you.
• The life you're fucking with may not be your own
• I may be a trenchie bitch, but you forget we wear combat boots!
• 'C' may be for cookie, but that's not good enough for me, dammit!
• As you graduate from college, you are the most conservative you will ever be
• Things to consider if you think someone might be dead
• There need to be better terms in English for "significant others"
• Why wiring your own phone line might not be a good idea
• Time travel, as I think of it, will never be invented
• Don't want to be lonely no more
• Think no more, lad; laugh, be jolly
• Forget what you think you know about the opposite sex
• If a given feature can't be found in a Freeware application, you don't need it
• Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it
• Does it ever scare you to be you? Love, Mom
• Information cannot be owned
• May the world be a better place when I wake up
• They try to be quiet but you know they are there with their weird coppery breath.
• If you loved her, you'd be home by now
• Don't be sexist. Broads hate that.
• I want to be somewhere between two points of nowhere
• I may be lying in the gutter, but I am looking up at the stars
• Don't be a smartass and expect to be taken seriously
• Even simple things that you think are harmless can be dangerous. Like crayons. Like velvet.
• It ought to be broad daylight, but the shadow that envelops the story shows no signs of brightening
• Don't Be An Ass (user)
• Billy, Don't Be a Hero
• No One Here Is Ever Going to be President: Noders raise things in the city where things fall down
• It will be a hot day and these two ice cubes. We will melt, become one.
• If you weren't gay, I think I'd be in love with you
• Don't be afraid, you've just got your eyes closed
• Your first writeup will be nuked: Don't give up
• Spikey the Werm may be a Werm, but he's got quite an imagination nonetheless!
• Starving in the greenhouse
• My life may no longer be my own
• The next life will be better
• Don't be an IM phantom
• It's better to be lonely than to be with inferior people
• This will be the hardest thing you ever do
• Why I sometimes think I must be insane
• Act as if you are in a dream; be daring and don't apologize
• It's better to be solitary than with incompatible people
• Don't be seduced by the taco bar
• I may be cold and calculating, but that doesn't make me a computer
• His love was enormous; it cleared rooms that desperately wanted to be full.
• Will the Atomic Bomb Ever Be Perfected, and If So, What Becomes of Robert Heinlein?
• What can be better than that?
• You give me wings. Don't be surprised if I fly.
• I will ever be your combustive tablature of igneous geometries

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