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Today it's the Swiss National Day (Three Swiss states formed a union on August 1, 1291, Uri, Schwyz and Unterwalden)! This came as a nice surprise as I'm always looking for good reasons to celebrate. The folks at Google have a nice habit to remake their first page logo at enjoyable occasions and today they have Swiss alps in it to empahasize that today is a oh so happy day. I'm not Swiss but a Swede. Isn't that the same thing you might ask. No it isn't. But I'm still going to celebrate with a beer later this evening.

"Stars have their moment, then they die"Nick Cave
This place never fails to amuse me. My boss yesterday pulled me aside and said
"Do you you like this job?"
"Uh,yeah. I like it alot"
"Then why the attitude?"
I hadn't thought of it, but it's been 3 years since I've had to be "new" at something. It's frustrating, being put in that posistion. Also frustrating working inside, with in the same place with the same people doing the same stuff, day in, day out. My previous job in land surveying, everyday was an adventure (especially when I had to jump a six foot fence into someone's backyard) This job is a whole different shebang. my reply:
"Listen..I'm 27, I'm not a kid anymore, I'm used to knowing what I'm doing. This is stressful, learning this, and even trying to get adjusted to New York, the whole deal. Sorry, I'll be aware of it"
I underestimated him, just found out he's a June 24th Cancer, two days before me. Crabs are funny around each other at first.
On the non-subjective tip, I got a new bed! A Serta-thick and plump queen size. Much appreciated after sleeping on the floor for two months. First thing I did was rip the tag off(after warily looking around for the FBI agents) and fall on it. Who needs sex, i got a Serta.

Nothing much going on right now, in terms of drama. Dating some one who is quite adorable, very giving and loving, but no way to know what the future holds, of course. Work has been intensely busy, I've put in twenty hours in two days, feel dazed and kind of out of it today. Been here for an hour, and am just now feeling awake.

My little week visit with my sister will begin next Tuesday, Cape Cod, lobster rolls, flat sandy beaches, hopefully a visit to P-town will round out the visit. And lots of heart to hearts with her of course. I plan to come out to her when I see her, just something that should be done.

Haven't heard from M. in a few days, he usually e-mails me a long missive every day, so this is unusual. I don't know whether I should contact him or let him be. I had the impression that he needs some space from me, to help his heart heal, so I'm just being quiet, I think.

I have had an epiphany.

Two years ago when I was still practicing aikido regularly, I went for a day to the week-long Galway summer school, in UCG. Aikidoka from all over Ireland, America, Spain, France, Holland and the Isle of Mann came to train in Aikido. We were instructed by Henry Kono and Alan Ruddock, two men who, in the sixties, went to Japan to train with O-sensei, Morihei Ueshiba.

During the course of the afternoon I reached some kind of different place in my mind, what chaos magicians would call a gnostic state - nothing could go wrong, I was aware of everything and everything was aware of me. I was conscious of people across the large hall and their relationship in space to me.

Sadly I had been unable to re-create this. Then there was the accident which put paid to my training for a over a year.

Last night Henry Kono came to visit Cork (the Galway summer school has informally extended beyond the week in Galway, as Henry stays for a week in Dublin and a week in Cork before going to Galway. The people who travel to Galway now take two or three weeks out and follow him around to the other two cities). He tried to explain to us the concept of personal space, and how to use it relative to Uke. While practicing with Joe, who is from New York I suddenly realised that by concentrating on my hands, the markers of my personal space, I could end up doing anything. And it's never a matter of decision as to what maneuvre to do, you just do what must be done. While intending to do simple Ikkio I would sometimes end up doing more "complicated" things like nikkio, shihonage, jujinage etc.

And on top of it all was this heightened awareness, the sort of thing people describe after trying cocaine or ecstacy, except all that had caused this was an abandonment of all the crap we spend our lives thinking about.

I feel transcendent.

I can't wait til thursday.

I am working in Dublin at a temp job, data entry
(it destroys your brain), so I slack off now quite a bit
(for health reasons you understand) and yesterday I completed my 500th node, yay! and today it was warm outside, the beginning of the summer and I remember
back to when I discovered E2 my first node
and I look at my profile, and holy fuck
i've been an everythingian for just over a year
now, I totally missed my e2 birthday, damn.


I am not ordinarily a man given to rave-outs and rants. I'm about the most mellow sum-bitch you're going to meet. But something happened today, (actually it happens periodically, but I've decided to vent my spleen today) and maybe I'm overreacting, but it pissed me right off.

(Note to non-USAans: By pissed off, I mean angry - not drunk. Thank you.)

First of all, let me explain this office. It is full of engineers and programmers. To the layman, it looks like our job is to sit in front of a computer screen and squinch our faces into varying degrees of contortion without using our hands. The trained observer, however, sees that our job requires a lot of thinking and concentration.

The perfect environment for this job, we've discovered, is quiet.

Qui! Yet!

We've worked very hard over the past year/year and a half to create a serene working environment, where the loudest noise that can be heard is the tap-tap-tapping on the keyboard and the rare .wav blast when someone accidentally fires off a sound without their headphones on. Other than that you have the soothing background sounds of muffled music escaping the confines of the headphones and the occasional slurp of coffee or Jolt Cola.

Well, there was that time when that engineer just totally lost it for reasons which we have yet to discern. But for the vast majority of the time, we live in a relatively torpid stupor of tranquility.

Until today

At first it sounded like it was a sqeaky door. But it just kept getting louder and louder. We couldn't figure out what it was, but eventually we realized it wasn't an inanimate object. It would not stop. It was relentless. For some reason it reminded me of The Langoliers, where the people at the airport were hearing the little spheres of total destruction just over the horizon.

Finally I decided to investigate the noise and destroy the source. Unfortunately, I was unable to destroy the source, because the source was an infant, roughly 3 weeks old. Let me rephrase that. I was not unable to destroy the infant. However, I decided that discretion was the better part of valor, so I let it be.

'Sides he was a cute little baby. My only beef with him was that he was just too damn loud. It was his mother that pissed me off.

Would someone tell me why a person would feel the need to bring a newborn infant into an office whose primary function is to serve as a place where people think? If this was a unique occurance, I wouldn't be writing this, but it happens from time to time and it seems like it's been happening a lot more lately, and it's a trend that I do not like.

It is no secret that we require peace and quiet. It is a fact worthy of note that babies do not like quiet, and will do anything in their power to eliminate it when they find it. In this area their power is surprising and unsurpassed.

Now don't get me wrong, I love children. I have my own and I'm damn proud of them. I have pictures of them on my desk, and I tell anyone who cares to listen everything they ever wanted to know about my little sproggin. I love playing with them, I love hearing them laugh, and I love letting them run up and down the hallways of our home screaming like all the demons of hell are right on their heels.

But Jesus H. Christ, why don't these people use their fucking heads before they come to a quiet office with their children. I would never bring my kids to work (not during work hours anyway) because my kids are LOUD. That's fine at home, but in an environment where people are thinking, you can almost physically see their trains of thought being derailed.

Shattered concentration leads to pissed off engineers. Q.E. Fuckin' D.

This is not a construction site, or a machine shop, or a sports arena. It is not a day care center or a Chuck E. Cheese.

I come to a quiet office at work to get away from screaming children, not to be subjected to someone else's.


Just received a call from a potential future.

This call on my mobile at the end of another brain-rotting day of spiralling boredom feeding procrastination to guilt had a chinese accent. He wanted to talk to me about my recent application to go back to university. I graduated from there, what.. 4 years ago? I was a different person then. I have since changed and I fear going back, as if it would set the clock back to a time when I was more naive, more uncertain, more scared. I worry about wastefully repeating a chapter in my life. Then I realise that I am already wastefully repeating every working day.

I want to go back. It will be a new experience because it's defined by my attitude to it. It's what I'm excited about and it's at least closer to where I ought to be.

It will be a challenge. That's a good thing. I have become way to cosy and closetted of late. I need the opportunity to grow again.

Today, I realized I wasn't too far from becoming 22. Nothing special about that age, except maybe that it's before just 23, an age important to many insurance companies. I don't know why it hit me all of a sudden. Just one of those things, I guess. I'm not sure how well I'm coping. My brain seems to have gone into bizzare-overdrive and keeps churning out some of the most odd stuff.
  • If two parents are killed while getting a divorce, do they get to haunt the children equally, or is there some kind of issue with visitation rights?
  • There is an angle between a light source, and your eye that can give the eye the most enchanting look I've ever seen...
  • Depending where you are, people react differently to a person bursting into laughter. (Don't do this if you embarress easily)
  • Walking on high-heels must be a lot like walking on stilts: it's fun at first (the believe that it makes you more beautiful) but by the end of the day you feel like somebody's been massaging your calves with a chainsaw.
  • Do not for any reason use the handrails on a bus as your personal jungle-jim. They can't hold the weight.
  • Those who can, do. Those who can't, complain.
  • You can change the way you walk by simply choosing the motion of your knee. The question is: do you lead with your knees, or drag them along with the rest of the leg?

    Looking at that list (this isn't all of them, only the more coherent stuff) - I realize I might consider trying to get drunk. I hate what alcohol does to me, but it might reverse the tide of this maddness and maybe even get me to shut up. Hell, I've been walking into rooms and yelling "I am the Walrus! Feed me!" in a soft British accent. I need help.

  • Hello.

    Since Saturday afternoon, I've driven over 1800 miles.
    i'm very tired.
    It wasn't very interesting, either. I-40. @whee. I'm in Fayetteville, AR now. I'll be back in Oakland in a few days.

    Net access is hit and miss--couldn't get online in Winslow, AZ or Tucumcari, NM or wherever the heck we stayed in Texas, but I did update the Museum Metanode thanks to RubenAzarja.

    good night.

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