... though sometimes gay friend would be an apt description.


What is it that makes people and co-workers misperceive someone's sexual oreintation? I don't think I come off as gay. I don't think I have a gay-sounding voice, or a gay walk. Yet it continues to happen.

Is there something about a man with short hair and one earring? If I wore my hair in a mullet would I still have this problem?

Is it the glasses?

Is it because I pay attention to what people are saying?

Is it because don't own any hockey jerseys?

I'm a dad for chrissakes! I've been married, sired two children, divorced, dumped a string of hopeless girlfriends, had a torrid affair with a good friend's SO...

I mean, heck! I guess there might be things about me that are slightly suspect.

But if there's one thing I truly love (I mean can't-stop-thinking-about-it love) it's women.

I know I don't appear androgynous. I've taken pains to make sure of that.

But through some miscalculation of style, do I somehow seem gay?

props to Alpha42


or, "Am I a fauxmosexual?"

What is a red-blooded heterosexual male to do? Herewith The Management presents a guide to help men in such straits (*snort*) better present their true natures:

To convince your homosexual friends that you are not playing for the same team as they:

To convince your heterosexual friends of your good standing:

Or, to easily satisfy both sides of the fence when challenged, politely smile and say, "I apologize, but I don't believe my choice of partner is any of your business... if, in fact, it were any of your business, why, YOU'D ALREADY KNOW."

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