I could probably explain it all to you, but it would just require too much typing. Suffice to say that to meet girls, you need what the French call a certain I don’t know what.

But How To Meet Girls is also the name of the 2nd album released by Santa Barbara, California band Nerf Herder.

  1. Vivian
  2. Courtney
  3. Lamer Than Lame
  4. Feeling Bad
  5. Pantera Fans
  6. 5000 Ways To Die
  7. She’s A Sleestak
  8. Jonathan
  9. For You
  10. Life On Mars
  11. Pervert
Produced by Joey Cape
Mixed by Ryan Green @ Motor Studios, San Francisco
©1999 Honest Don’s
All songs by Parry Gripp © 1999 Nerf Herder Music/WB Music Corp (ASCAP)
except for “Pantera Fans In Love” and “For You” by Dave Ehrlich ©1999 Nerf Herder Music (ASCAP)

The CD is really good pop punk rock. Think Blink 182 without all of the teenage sex symbol bullshit. I got my copy signed by everybody but Justin (who was probably off pimpin’) when I saw Nerf Herder open for Weezer at ‘Canes in San Diego 7/17/00.

Paris was beautiful that time of year. The Sun shone brightly but inoffensively and a gentle breeze carried the intoxicating scent of the market's fresh fruits.

The vendors told the boy what a great favor they were doing him offering such low prices. The boy drew his cap over his face. He had things to buy but was in no especial hurry.

And besides, right now he was searching for a different kind of fruit. Being greedy, as all boys, he decided the ripest would be his wife.

The boy channeled the coyness of the vendors. "Would you mind terribly if I walked with you for a while? I don't know this area very well," he lied. She shrugged. The boy began to talk with the girl. What's your name; oh my, I've never heard such a beautiful name; where are you from; oh really, how beautiful it is; oh right, I was just kidding, I hate it too. The boy spoke with an indifferent aloofness that belied his desparation.

"Hey, listen, there's a great café near here. It's so hard to talk while we're moving, don't you think? Let's go sit down."

"I thought you didn't know the area well," she grinned earnestly. Her surprise was feigned. The boy reciprocated her grin. She chuckled. Before long they were in a fit of guffaws. When finally, they could stop, she spoke between breaths.

"But... With you?"

She laughed again.

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