Tired, very
tired.
Class went well, didn't fall asleep, which seems to be part of the standard routine lately. Though I almost did. It's painful to watch myself fall apart like this, almost though I'm not really me anymore.
I've decided informally that I'm going to drop my Computer Science minor. I just can't stand the pseudo-buisness courses, like System Development, where we have to use a CASE tool that one lab on campus has, which I can't get to because I work until it closes. It's not like you need the ACS on your degree to get an IS job, as long as you know what you're doing, right?
/me hears crickets.
I know what I'm doing. Even more so than the professors oftentimes of my computer classes. Anyhow, so after this, I will be an English major, Writing minor, getting a BA, then I will go for an MFA, I think, stalling off another few years of Real Life.
I have to read The Cherry Orchard by Chekov for my Drama class tomorrow.
I'm unsure if my burn out is happening because I'm simply getting burnt out or if there is something more base going on (or not going on) in my life.
My girlfriend has decided to go back on the pill, because depo-provera has caused her to gain about, err, some amount of weight, which bugs her. I don't care about the method of birth control, I'm just concerned that my recent depression has caused her to doubt herself as a woman. She is so beautiful. I love her, but I worry that she places too much stock in my mood, and that she thinks that it is a reflection of my thoughts about her.
I aquired some material by Eddie Izzard, funny shit. Not quite as funny as Bill Hicks, but good anyway.
I've begun to wonder if I have a chemical imbalance, which is not unheard of in my family. I have been researching St. Johns Wort and it seems like it may be an OK thing to try, but I'm having troubles. Not that I'll be inbalming this herb, but that it creates a dependancy of me on this. Will I need this herb to remain happy? All I know is that I'm tired of being tired, and that this has to end soon.