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Dream Log, April 5, 2003

It was 5 am when I woke, covered in a sheen of sweat. I normally don't smoke this early, but I needed the outside, and the nicotine. So I sat on the stoop and watched the grass rustle and the tweakers across the street doing tweaker things around their apartment complex.

This dream is really weird, not quite precognative feeling, but rather like I've been sucked through some sort of foggy tunnel, it's not REAL, but of something that could be real. A sort of adjective for my life and I'm supposed to interpret it, like reading the bones. So I write this down, hoping I will be awake enough later to figure it out. Or that maybe the ACT of writing it down will excorcise it from my brain.

My dream: I am in my back yard. Suddenly aware, as if woken from a deep sleep. My feet are wet with dew and rather chilled. I'm not clothed, The night air presss on me, not hotly, but heavily, making it hard to breathe. I can hear the trees rustling and my breath gasping, but the world is otherwise silent. Then it's black, and I'm alone. Only my breathing lost in the cavernous nothing I am in. I'm not scared however, just taking note. I start feeling like I'm back in bed, the sensation of covers over me, more silky than my own cotton spread. There is a faint glow, as if through a sheet out of the corner of my eye. I concentrate on seeing, and realize my bed is harder than normal too. I spot a tree or two through the sheer thing blocking my vision.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a large man shadow move, and my door starts to unzip. I'm in a tent. I must be camping.Man shadow is still a shadow, literally, this is not a real man. I get no bad feelings from him, only a need, a question, and warmth. I decide to let him in, and he knows. He slips into my covers with me. Places one very large calloused hand over my breast and I start to feel heat, very warm and content. My eyes grow heavy in my dream and I feel strangely comforted. I think I really do fall back to proper alpha sleep.

I awake again in my dream, in a hospital, my loins ache. I'm sitting in a hard chair, in a too bright, too white room, watching a large man, (is this the tent man? My brain thinks) A nurse comes in pushing a basinet on wheels, with a baby in it. She hands the baby to the man. The mans name is Lucas, I know this now. He opens his gown and begins to feed the baby.

So what does this mean now I ask myself?

Camping? I want to, I love too. Alas, I may or may not before I move. I like California best of all the states I've been to, and want one more time outside to myself. Man's hand? I miss em? oh yeah, *insert bawdy laugh*. Male lactation? I read tes and momomom's writups on that last night right before bed. So I think that explains lactation dreams, (thanks you two for that lovely image of man nipple) Baby? I probably do want another one, I like children, I like being pregnant, but I am NOT! GOING! TO! SLAP! oh no!
But I still don't know why I'm naked in my back yard.

And yes, I realize that as a new noder I shouldn't put this kinda crap up, but it was a really weird dream and I wanted to remember it.

I dreamed of you last night.

In the dream we were sitting outside your house, on that transformer thing. We were just enjoying the day when you turned to me:

"I have something I want to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Well, over the past few years there have been several times when we've had Jack Nicholson over at our house. He comes over for the weekend."

"Why haven't I ever seen him over?"

"Well, I know this sounds strange, but he likes to hide out sometimes. In the woods, by fences, stuff like that"

"Whatever for?"

"I know you think I'm crazy, but he says he likes to watch people garden, and it would be too difficult otherwise."


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