Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "Hey do you want to be able to talk about your incredible burdens with someone who knows how to help? Too bad! You get a bottle of whisky and a pep talk."

• The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
• There's nothing more annoying than to try to rebel against someone who's totally supportive about whatever you want to do
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about reading and books with someone that openly admits to being a bad reader
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• It's hard to be enthusiastic about music with someone who physically sneered at Hamilton
• Helping a loved one with depression
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• This is the last talk. Do you want to sit together quietly for a while? All right, sirs, sit quietly for a while.
• If someone wants to do something and it isn't hurting you... DON'T BE A FUCKING DICK
• How do you know a dog wants to smooch?
• I didn’t know why it took girls so long to do their makeup until someone showed me how to dismantle the patriarchy with an allen wrench and a roast chicken ballotine.
• Men who are willing to listen to women talk about their periods
• You, standing
• How Do You Know Who's A Stranger?
• Let's talk about the end of the world as we know it
• Snatched away, like the Lindberg baby, who everyone talked about, which explains my lifelong fear of ladders.
• Do you know how to get to Sesame Street?
• How to harass someone who doesn't even get online using IRC
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• "What *should* we be worried about?"; or how too many cooks make a statistically average soup
• Forget what you think you know about the opposite sex
• people do, on the whole, have the right to be who they want to be
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• How do you know a girl wants to smooch?
• You are looking for someone who does not want to be found. Even if you find them it will not be a success.
• How do you know when someone's your best friend?
• It's too early to talk about God, or women
• Helping someone who practices self-mutilation
• I do not want to talk
• Who Wants to be the Next US President?!
• How do we know dog biscuits are "now better tasting!"?
• I Do Not Want To Be One Of Those People
• What I talk about when I talk about running
• For someone who writes about love as much as I, writing about it when it's real sure is hard.
• they tell you to be your true self. to never give up on who you are. they don't know who i am.
• We talk about the importance of a good handshake.
• How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
• do you want to know everything?
• How to Burn Away Half a Bottle of Whisky
• Who wants to be a high school graduate?
• Who should be weighed with the inconvenient burden of staying
• "Hey wouldn't it be cool if we could do this" rule
• How to tell you are too tired to do research
• How do I know if I really like coffee?
• hating myself is all i know how to do anymore
• sometimes when i think about how big space is i get scared
• he looks a little like you... so i would rather talk about other pretty girls
• Who i think about when i dont want to smile
• how do you feel about miniature lazy susans behind glass
• words I've wanted to tell you but never seem to be able to
• and what about now? are your eyes open? do you know what the risks are?
• Do you really want Alexa to be hearing this
• I know I'm not very good at this. I don't want to be better.
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• The Lord of the Rings 1/2: Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Middle-earth But Were Afraid to Produce
• Let's Talk About Feelings
• Unscrewing a bottle cap
• Everything you ever wanted to know about theatre tech, but were afraid to ask
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Do you want to get slapped?
• What do you say to someone who has just had an abortion?
• All right, I'm God now. How do I get out of this mess?
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• Notes on What's What and on What it Might be Reasonable to do about Whats What
• How to get an abortion when it's illegal to do so in your country
• How Do You Want Me?
• what we talk about when we talk about Punk
• If you're insane, how do you know you're insane?
• What do you need, and how might I help?
• They do not know how immortal, but I know
• How does it feel to know you are one of my bad habits?
• What I Want My Kids To Know About Sex
• it wouldn't be so bad if people like you would have become ghosts too
• How to argue about something you don't know literally a single thing about
• At what age should you talk to your kids about drugs?
• Talk About Suffering
• Foolproof method to determine how much a person knows about computers
• The friend who knows a lot about computers
• Who Wants to Be a Millionaire Game at McDonald's
• What we talked about when we were reading around the subject
• It's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?
• How to tell a girl just wants to be friends
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Silence
• there are people who are gone but wanted me to be happy
• do you want to understand? or do you want to be right?
• How to be strong for her, when all you want is to depend on her
• How is poetic form going to help me scream about revolution
• How to speak about women and be politically incorrect
• So why talk about politics now
• Pop Songs Your New Boyfriend's Too Stupid to Know About
• A story about a person I do not know
• I always liked the breasts that talked about existentialism.
• We don't talk about those sorts of things
• How could anybody know how we got to be this way?
• This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
• How do you know it's real?
• Know How, Can Do
• Son, do you know how fast you were going?
• Who do you call for help when all your friends are dead?
• How do you get there?
• How do you get two piccolos to play in tune?
• how do I air an attitude gripe about family?
• I want someone to do cute things for
• How do you know if you have a sinus infection?
• People who get worked up about misspelling Colombia
• Do you know how smart I am in Spanish?
• i always want to go back. but i don't know if it's time yet. i have some things i have to do.
• How do I know if I love you?
• how far do you want to go?
• Who are you? What are you? How do you? What will you?
• How do you know that name?
• Can We Talk About This?
• The further I get from the things that I care about, the less I care about how much further away I get
• "You want to know the only thing you can assume about a broken down old man? It's that he's a survivor."
• Find someone who dreams about people like you
• Why noding about your personal life can be a bad idea
• How can idealism be a bad thing?
• small intimate talk about nothing
• What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
• Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
• Let's talk about that
• Don't talk about me behind my back
• Talk to your dermatologist about...
• To all the cold people who want to be warm again
• How it feels to be interviewed (when you know the answers)
• How to tell when your dog just wants to be friends
• Being a good lab partner and dealing with a bad lab partner
• Don't talk about your mamma like that
• The Bus Driver Who Wanted to be God
• Everything you wanted to know about hamsters, and then some!
• What We Talk about When We Talk About Love
• Why people who get the wrong number make it out to be your fault
• How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
• I want to be sexy too!
• never talk to a Brit about America's involvement in World War II
• If you really care about someone, do not tell her to fuck off
• How to approach a developer who may well be working and ask him a question
• When to talk about religion
• How can you defend people you know to be guilty?
• What do you want to be when you grow up?
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• The best part about you is that you don't even know how great you are
• Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask)
• Flags and flag etiquette
• Things a Computer Scientist Rarely Talks About
• Do you know what it is like to be alone among so many?
• Because the weather is always beautiful, they don't even know that storms can be beautiful too.
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• "Ha ha," says the Israeli voter to the American voter, "don't talk to me about the lesser of two evils."
• i want to help. i want to be a part of something that will change the world.
• What the world wants to know about newts
• subtlety is for people who want to be misunderstood
• What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
• Do you know how many times you've woken up at 4:15 with deep insights?
• I know how to bring a whiskey bottle pleasure with my touch
• How to get Apache to be a bit more secretive
• When you can't talk about what your sexual needs are
• You pass a thousand heroes on the street every day and never know how well they are carrying their burdens
• The more I learn about photography the less I want to know
• Reality can't be whatever I want it to be, but maybe it's not so clear-cut, you know?
• I really came to understand that they were just real people who wanted to live real lives and be treated equally as opposed to, for example, wanting to destroy us.
• If you get your opinions second-hand, you do not know anything worth knowing
• How do you know the fishes are enjoying themselves?
• Talk about the weather
• How to get a Goth out of a tree
• Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
• Why do you want to get married?
• How do you know when your relationship is over?
• Talk About the Passion

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