Hong Kong movie subtitles

Oh, we like to laugh at the way English is mangled by people who don't speak it as a primary language. It is funny, maybe because we secretly wish we could get away with talking like this in real life. I often wonder if other cultures laugh at our attempts to entertain or inform in their native tounges. Probably.

Here, we have actual English subtitles used in Hong Kong films. It's ok to laugh:

• I am damn unsatisfied to be killed in this way.
• Fatty, you with your thick face have hurt my instep.
• Gun wounds again?
• Same old rules: no eyes, no groin.
• A normal person wouldn't steal pituitaries.
• Damn, I'll burn you into a BBQ chicken!
• Take my advice, or I'll spank you without pants.
• Who gave you the nerve to get killed here?
• Quiet or I'll blow your throat up.
• You always use violence. I should've ordered glutinous rice chicken.
• I'll fire aimlessly if you don't come out!
• You daring lousy guy.
• Beat him out of recognizable shape!
• I got knife scars more than the number of your leg's hair!
• Beware! Your bones are going to be disconnected.
• The bullets inside are very hot. Why do I feel so cold?
• How can you use my intestines as a gift?
• This will be of fine service for you, you bag of the scum. I am sure you will not mind that I remove your manhoods and leave them out on the dessert flour for your aunts to eat.
• Yah-hah, evil spider woman! I have captured you by the short rabbits and can now deliver you violently to your gynecologist for a thorough extermination.
• Greetings, large black person. Let us not forget to form a team up together and go into the country to inflict the pain of our karate feets on some ass of the giant lizard person.
• You can't come in here covered in soup!
• So Fortune Teller, are you going to get shot today? (A Hero Never Dies)
• I want sexual relations! (For Bad Boys Only)
• This is a fucked up world! (Bullet in the Head)
• Make me invincible, O Gods! (Chinese Ghost Story)
• GALA GALA HAPPY! (City Hunter)
• Have you ever died before? (City On Fire)
• Damn! (when the character onscreen said f***!) (First Option)
• The Invisible Cloak is invsible and cannot be found by anyone now. (Heroic Trio)
• My baby has no anus. (Jiang Hu The Triad Zone)
• Women are cunning! (Kung Fu Cult Master)
• You should be glad to eat something so nutritous! (Mong Kok Story)
• Don't punish the monkey! (Storm Riders)
• It's shit to be chased by the dogs! (Fong Sai Yuk)