Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "If you downvote this because you think it's serious, I'll kill you, you motherfuckers"

• Drunken Riemann shoved Gauss over fish and chips and said, Motherfucker, you solve that theorem, and I'll cut you with this blade!
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• One more day like today and I'll kill you
• You'd think a cookie killed his dog
• What we think we know can kill us
• You think I'll cry? I won't cry! My heart will break before I'll cry.
• You're so funny I think I'll kick your ass
• Because, you think, Maybe They Are Delicious.
• Let's hear that string part again, because I don't think they heard it
• We love foxes because we killed the wolves
• When the seagulls follow the trawler, it is because they think sardines will be thrown into the sea.
• I think I killed it
• E2 killed my dog, and I don't think it's fair
• I Love You ... I'll Kill You
• I think I'll just go to sleep in this snow bank.
• How long do you think I'll let you keep me here?
• I am saving your nodes because I'll miss you so much
• I shiver because I think you make my bones glow.
• Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll go eat worms
• They leap just because they can, out of joy
• Don't Sit Next to Me Just Because I'm Asian
• Just because it happened to you
• Because I dig you
• Because I say so
• The hole in the ground for bodily waste when camping
• Last night I could not sleep because of the noise in my head
• Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can
• Textbooks you save because there's that one chapter in back you refer to every two years or so
• I realize that just because I like something a lot, it doesn't mean it is of high quality
• Gullet and I are standing in the kitchen because that's what we do.
• Just because you both have the same problem does not mean you are one another's solution
• I care because you do
• Because it's wrong
• I lost a chance at $40,000 because my mommy wouldn't let me sell my stock
• Just because Linux is Free doesn't mean Linux Software has to be Free
• Because that would make sense
• Don't assume that just because I'm gay, all I want is sex
• If my mom doesn't let me play the violin because it's gay then ...
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• Do you cry out because the beauty is cruel?
• We don't write poetry because it's cute
• I can't be a scientist because I don't believe in God.
• I don't like her because she won't like me
• I smile just because you exist
• Foolish man. You cannot turn me into a phantom because you are frightened.
• "Because it's cold"
• And then night was here, after a day of measured breathing, and I could forget about breathing because the waiting was done
• time lost in life because of waiting
• Just because it's Usenet is no excuse to forget how to punctuate
• Am I demanding because I want to see you play Dance Dance Revolution and laugh at you?
• Just because you can make music doesn't mean that you should
• We smoke cloves because we can
• Because I needed to hear you over the noise
• I Like Bananas Because They've Got No Bones
• I'm a cynical bastard because I care so much, dammit
• Aliens look like aliens because they're human
• because it wasn't just the air
• No one asks me if I'm a Satanist or anything because I take the precaution of wearing a predominantly flannel and hawaiian shirt-oriented wardrobe
• The Revolution was Postponed Because of Rain
• She was a committed romantic and an anarcha-feminist. This was hard for her because it meant she couldn't blow up beautiful buildings.
• because I love skating bears
• I Had No Time to Hate, Because
• Because the suburbs lacked the proper elevation
• Because I love you
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• The time a thug punched my friend in the face because he could
• I married him because he was not mean
• Don't assume that just because I'm promiscuous, all I want is sex
• Because I Got High
• Buying things just because they have cool packaging
• Because I want to. Because I'm good at it.
• Because I've never been able to make anything beautiful
• George W. Bush gave the Taliban $43 million in May 2001 because they banned all drugs
• Donald Duck was banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants
• Her innocence fell. She kicked at it some, frowned, and left it there because it was beautiful.
• Just because a man is nice to pretty girls, it doesn't make him a nice man
• Just because I say Happy Hanukkah doesn't mean I'm Jewish
• Because the city is falling down
• We sing because we must
• I shall not fear these streets, because I run these streets
• Because to me that's suicide self-murder
• Because it all burns up
• We know we have fallen because we know who we are
• God Made Man Because He Loves Stories
• Just because you've ordered doesn't mean you can't look at the menu
• I don't care. I like who I am because of it.
• Death is the saddest thing in the world, because life is the most beautiful
• Because: Context is not important. Because: My life is one long series of contexts.
• Don't Sit Next to Me, Just Because I'm Gay
• Because it is bitter and because it is my heart
• Shrug (Because of Me and You)
• Pity me not because the light of day
• in spite (or perhaps because) of
• If we are not dead yet, it is because we are too busy dying to know we are dead.
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• They hate us because we're wonderful
• Because we are all real people, and none of us is innocent
• I do it because it hurts, and then even that is over
• Because I couldn't
• Because he feared the turn of seasons
• It’s not because of your unconventional ideas about sex. It’s because you’re fat.
• Because the gods that made them are gods no more
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• I don't shiver because I'm cold. I shiver because you are.
• Because, not in spite of
• Up, because the sky has room for us and more than we can ever make
• I refuse to panic just because she's happy.
• I give blood because I've got it on my hands.
• Because I lived in Paradise
• You cherish this box because it once held your dreams
• because his heart was heavy, closing, like a tired eyelid
• just because you've forgotten doesn't mean that you're forgiven
• It's easier to kick a praying man, because he's on his knees already
• I ran from Iran because I slam Islam
• I say yes, because I believe in sailboats
• or because we are all Supermen living in the city of the future
• We do what we do because of who we are. If we did otherwise, we would not be ourselves.
• Just because she's nice to you doesn't mean she wants to fuck you
• If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
• Ignoring a leak because it's on the other side of the boat
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• Because I do not want to forget
• because I have given up any care
• I'm starting to think the secret is to NOT be rich and prosperous. To be 'unsuccessful' (depending on who you ask)
• Because I'm an adult
• because i am scared of pain
• because the attachment is fierce
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• Things that no one told you...until now, because I'm telling you. Consider yourself fortunate
• Because I love you (in 65 words)
• necessary evil because of current stupidity
• I like to be reminded this city survives because of these machines.
• I grew up in a non-racist environment because of the efforts of racists.
• Many girls want to be carnal with me because I am such a premium dancer.
• I can't tell you my username because I know you too well
• just because
• No one has ever died because they DIDN'T have a toothpick
• Because I still love her, because I know she still loves me.
• Because Up Yours, Deer Man!
• I write because I cannot speak
• Because I can!
• People tell us who they are, but we ignore it, because we want them to be who we want them to be.
• We're flawed because we want so much more. We're ruined because we get these things and wish for what we had.
• They hate me because I'm beautiful
• For, because
• Laugh now, because tomorrow I will be ten stories tall and I could just step on you if I want
• there aren't any stars because we haven't created them yet
• because everything that is connected is beautiful
• mermaids never miss their legs in the sea because mermaids know that there are better ways to move through the ocean than kicking.
• Books Hazelnut Read Because You Should Also (category)
• because death is just so full, and man so small
• Did we listen to pop music because we were miserable? Or were we miserable because we listened to pop music?
• because I am lazy and enjoy staring blankly into space (which is also the space where novels come from)
• It's funny because it's you
• because eventually you will see past my magical words and focus once again on the matter at hand
• A sad reminder that just because you are floating does not mean you are rising
• I can't get a haircut today because I have too much free time
• I miss you because I have nothing else to miss
• Because she is unchanging, you are crazy
• She had incongruity for breakfast because she felt like it
• Important mainly because of the people in the conversation.
• I Can't Speak Because I'm Drowning In My Thoughts.
• Two Things I am Compelled to Support because of One Thing I Strongly Believe In
• Humans exist only because opposites exist
• I reject evolution because it's heteronormative.
• beauty is invented, but it is also personified, and I know this because I have met her
• because it represents, better yet, it is

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