Findings:

• You cannot stop the waves, but you can learn to surf
• I don't believe in God or the soul but these machines can make me cry
• I can see three corners from this corner. Two's a perfect number. But one?
• you can lower your standards, or your pants, but you can't make them love you
• My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
• Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• Yeah I can love my fellow man; but I'm damned if I'll love yours.
• edev: Writeuptype bugs, or how nate got stuck between two parentheses
• On two concert, I'm shootive collective photo but small, fat, bald headed technologist be insane
• The largest number that can be described in 14 words or less
• But I'm a good person! Yeah great you wanna help me with this or what?
• Megalania (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the lizard)
• Things I've learned from living with an unwed mother and her two small children
• I know it's stealing, but sometimes someone else can say it better than you ever can.
• Jessica, too tall but still lovely, was not sure she would or should drop the whale
• I can burn the hearts of the damned, but I can't stop the burning I feel for you
• You are at the beginning of your next trillion years, and you can spend it with us, or you can spend it curled up and shivering.
• you can only make me dizzy if you're spinning me in leaves or snowflakes
• My finger can point to the moon, but my finger is not the moon. You don't have to become my finger, nor do you have to worship my finger. You have to forget my finger, and look at where it is pointing.
• It wasn't so much what you said, or what I did, but more what you said I did, and what I didn't say at all.
• The presence or absence of stimuli: part two
• Is language innate or learned?
• Cooking for One
• All right. She can fly circles around Uranus, but where's the bathroom?
• You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make them biscuits.
• But can you imagine what that would do to all those juggaloes?
• you can close your eyes but not your ears
• You can run, but you can't hide
• don't just wait for it, but you can only wait for it
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
• The votes can be divided into roughly two categories. Those that got it, and those that didn't.
• The things we can learn continue to astound us.
• No Time, No Room, No Thought, or Writing Can
• you can touch the sun but you can't take it with you
• You can take the mall out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the mall
• Metal Inert Ass Welding, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the F-Bomb
• Dental surgery, or, how I learned to appreciate anesthesia
• Two times more -- or twice as much?
• seven, plus or minus two
• The two essential phrases to learn in other languages
• DJuxtaposition vs. Gamestop : Or how I learned to let go of the PS2 and start loving the DC
• but mr can you maybe listen there's
• Money can't buy happiness but the lack of it can cause a lot of misery
• It is not instruction, but provocation, that I can receive from another soul.
• This terrain is constantly changing, but if you look closely, you can find the patterns
• I can cast Zulthon's Glowing Rings, but I cannot cast you from my heart
• How can I help but use your eyes as a means for self-asphyxiation?
• But can you still cry like a child?
• we can give up, but the world never will
• old chestnut: all but two
• answer: all but two
• I cannot produce a definitive list of everywhere I have been, but I can say that I have seen a whole lot of nowhere
• But can a robot love.
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• Any fool with a dick can make a baby but it takes a real man to be a father
• I can lie to the face of the devil himself, but I can't fool you.
• you can give up, but there will always be those who do not
• may you make mistakes large enough to learn from, but small enough that they do not destroy you
• There's a sign on the wall. But she wants to be sure. Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
• Study, study, study, but maybe just to learn
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• but with words we can create anything
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• You can't dominate the world on $10 a day (or can you?)
• Any odd number can be expressed as the difference of two perfect squares
• No one can be in two places at once
• happy as a clam or a lark or as happy as Pacino can be
• we have learned all that we can from anal probing
• if you haven't learned your lesson from reading this, you can only learn it the hard way
• You can never be too rich or too thin
• I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
• You can, but you may not
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• socketes matures during 4 14 years. - reflections upon an obscure Dadaist genius in our midst; or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the troll.
• Textbooks you save because there's that one chapter in back you refer to every two years or so
• An American in Tours
• I just submit to one or two days of horror for going out and playing at being a normal functioning person
• I'll spot you one friend, or two chair legs
• How to share your Cable Modem or DSL connection between two computers
• One lump or two?
• we can learn a lot from plants
• Figures don't lie, but liars can figure
• You might be on a diet but you can still look at the menu
• You need a license to have a dog, but any idiot can have a child
• Overcoming arachnophobia, or how I learned to love the spiders with HUMAN HEADS!
• You can play with my ex-girlfriend, but treat her like the lady that she is.
• I can't get published, but this crap can
• the water can kill you, but the beer won’t
• Music that is either by the Sonic Youth or by some band that is ripping off the Sonic Youth, but you can't tell which
• Commit it then to the flames: For it can contain nothing but sophistry and illusion
• With or Without You... but I prefer the latter
• I learned never to empty the well of my writing, but always to stop when there was still something there in the deep part of the well, and let it refill at night from the springs that fed it.
• Look, I don't mean to be an asshole or anything, but...
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• Actually, I went to bed this morning, sometime, but we can gloss over that.
• judge a captain not by his shipwrecks, but by whether or not he blames the sea
• Ghosts can laugh, but they're already dead
• They don't realize they're talking about death but I can hear it behind their voices
• I may have cellulite, but I can still put my ankles behind my head
• A Lesson is Learned, but the Damage is Irreversible
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me
• I don't know if these are good flowers or bad flowers, but I picked them for you
• When you can almost recognize her face, but you can't remember her name
• You can say the train isn't real but it's still going to sting like a son of a b
• Can I play with your breasts? Yes, but don't get out of the yard.
• like you're blind but still can see
• i remember reading this but i can't remember if i liked it or not
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it.
• You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave.
• He learned to dance from emus but he learned to love from seraphim
• You can bear arms, but you can't bare breasts
• An army of slippers but only two feet
• Redemption is very much like vengeance. Redemption has more valor, and is more satisfying if you obtain it. But if you chase it blindly you can waste yourself completely.
• Necromancers really lift your spirits, but the dead can bring you down
• I can get away with murder, but I can't get you out of my head
• I am afraid to breathe or shut my eyes but I do both.
• This is immensely rewarding when successful, but can be an extremely intensive and difficult thing to develop and practice
• I don't know why but I always love episodes without words. like just something about them makes me feel calm or something..
• You beat it in me, that part of you/But I'm gonna split us back in two
• every horse can be tamed by someone. but they don't always live at the same time.
• You can teach people truth, but it's harder to teach them to cope with truth.
• melancholy is good, but not every single day, and certainly not more than two days in a row
• you can use a lot of words and ideas to try to hide it, but you're always making a choice between love and hate
• Dreams Can Be Cryptic, Dreams Can Obfuscate, But Dreams Do Not Lie
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• NODE OR DIE! Can you do any less?
• can you cough, speak, or breathe?
• trick or can
• I can never be sure if it was real or just another illusion
• Love is like skipping: if you know the secret, you can learn to fly
• Two Can Play That Game
• I can neither confirm or deny these charges
• It has been claimed that some or all of this article or section is incoherent and not understandable, and should possibly be reworded if the intended meaning can be determined
• Building a rabbit trap out of two aluminum cans
• two people can keep a secret if one of them is dead
• You can learn a lot about someone from the way they die
• Martyrdom, or why mowing a Dandelion is the best thing you can do for him
• I feel like shit today, but I can always feel worse tomorrow
• there are no rules, but there is a lot to learn
• Life is not always fair, but you can be
• They may take our car keys, but they'll never take our freedom
• The New Face of the BSOD: An Adventure in Password Recovery
• Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
• you can't change the world, but you can change the facts
• when you're done, you can let her die if that's what you want. Or you can wake her.
• Lessons learned from the rap industry may or may not serve a useful purpose in everyday life
• Becoming an idiot, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love my siblings
• Don't try to make the moment last. You can ruin it that way. Just learn to savor it and, when the time comes, learn how to let it go.
• Forming a bond with someone or something can be liberating in some ways. It can be limiting in other ways, until you unbind.
• Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
• You can pulp a story but you cannot destroy an idea.
• butt naked
• Words that sound dirty but really aren't
• There is no god but God
• That'd be the butt, Bob
• Butt hinge
• I may not know anything but I know I'm not American
• Butt crack of dawn
• Lots of MIPS but no I/O
• Things people put up their butts
• Project B.U.T.T.
• If I could slip this skin but for a moment
• Sorry, but I AM my fucking khakis
• My library books are late, but I don't care
• progression by two
• Sexist jokes
• Yard Butt
• Not really by the rules, but...
• No, but I'll have a beer
• Free but worthless shares
• Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me
• Junk mail never has to spell your name right, but important stuff does
• I know you are, but what am I?
• Why mirrors reverse left and right, but not up and down
• I may not have had enough of me but I've had enough of you
• Opposites may attract, but is it a good idea?
• A little Clint Black never killed anybody, but it did evacuate the building.

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