Findings:

• that pain was something I needed, and probably did to myself
• She probably thought your first language was English; your real first language was Joyce
• probably
• If you only smoke when you drink, you probably shouldn't drink kiroro
• Here lies one whose name was writ in water
• God was created in man's image
• Which of the Bewitched Dicks was gay?
• Imagine if your microwave was intelligent
• Was this the face that launched a thousand ships
• There once was a chicken named Alice
• November 4, 1995
• Watashi wa Ko Neko
• Was it something I said?
• I was alive again
• Einstein Was A Vegetarian
• Shimmer over bridges like the river was a dream
• The world was black and white
• Odysseus was not lying
• How America was mapped
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• Was that real, or did I dream it?
• The girls had gone wild and now my dad's cock was missing
• She was cilantro, jalapeño, habanero. She was the hot plate you must not touch.
• I was shot through the heart, and you were to blame.
• I Thought I Was A Child
• I was watching through the window, you were going through the dances.
• In a dream I had, I was on an island in the middle of the ocean.
• Was fang ich an in dieser Stadt?
• the river was cool. I wiped off every dangerous, sacred drop.
• Because, perhaps she was cold
• It was a green field and a pleasant day
• Her hair was seaweed and the Pacific wind sang
• Petey Piper was a viper
• I was shaking, but not from the cold
• the magic that was meant to capture the outlaw instead transformed him into a monster
• The braille on the door was not symbollic of my own blind search for an answer. Or maybe it was.
• if I was goody
• It Was Cold, and It Ran Through Your Fingers
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• was
• I was searching glass
• The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
• Conrad's dirigible was tipping
• Na of Wa
• I was a Difficult Child
• The distance between two atoms was the distance between 6 months ago and today
• "I was surprised to hear about the cat."
• Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter VI
• I worked at summer camp, and all I got was this lousy case of gangrene
• The train that came to me in the dream was already a dead train
• I Was Born Yesterday
• and there was this girl
• I tried to arrange my life in paragraphs, unaware that I was a haiku
• When she was bad
• It was just a crush
• Which was what we wanted
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• I was the liar; here is the truth
• It was the tree that gave him away.
• How the Earth was destroyed
• She was pain and pleasure all at once, wrapped up in needles and Ramones T-shirts
• The universe was cold and dead and all the best aspects of humanity and its appreciation of the world were stored in electronic boxes
• That Thursday the Universe was curved in the morning and was flat again by afternoon
• My hacked iPhone was better
• So I was drinking with the son of Man the other night, and...
• Who Was the Wine Girl?
• The real horror was not what had been redacted, but the reasons why.
• The virgin was looking apprehensive about the whole ordeal, but for the right amount of cash anyone will take on a horse
• Something was about to happen.
• it was years before they met again, by chance
• relatedly somehow, there was a point a few years ago when I learned how to terrify
• I miss my mom when she was sober
• This book was stolen from the Harvard College Library. It was later recovered. The thief was sentenced to two years at hard labor.
• Music was better in the old days
• Theories as to what was inside the briefcase in Pulp Fiction
• The Story of the Envious Man and of Him Who Was Envied
• I was a homeless bum
• That Was The Week That Was
• If this was an Olympic Sport, I'd be world champion
• I was born this way
• Trying to catch one clear promise out of the jittery confused language the night was whispering
• Gizmo was insane
• The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist
• It was not death, for I stood up
• When again between cities was comfortable and right
• Truth was in that mountain
• I was invisible beside you
• Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt
• Johnny Clueless was there, with his Simulated Wood-Grain
• War is only fun on screen
• She was inside the music, with her eyes closed
• Aunt Peg
• Back when our blood was still warm
• No one learned anything, because there was nothing to learn.
• She was watching me and I didn’t know it.
• What I would do If I knew what was good for me
• She is and was
• Why was my poem nuked?
• Unfortunately, there was no applause
• just because it was an accident doesn't mean it'll come back to life
• There was a baby in China
• Why, Martha, for the longest time there was no railway station in Slough!
• except that church was Episcopal with an ongoing history of bursting into flames
• The voice that said yes was mine.
• If I was a good person
• nor was there anything to be attained that you didn't already have
• He probably builds trebuchets still: Satan needs to modernize, like totally!
• Why I was convinced I would die young
• How Candide Was Brought Up in a Magnificent Castle and How He Was Driven Thence
• It was hormones, it was hormones, but it was valid
• How was your trip to London, Dan?
• There was this one great night at Alice's house,
• The highlight of my night was two guys kissing
• There was a lot of blood, but the boys needed it
• I didn't know such things when I was young
• More than he was willing to give
• Wondered what the point of all of that was
• I spent one year in love and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt.
• Napster was like the lamp with the wrong pricetag
• I was a free man once, in Saigon
• There was a moment of drunken silence
• Was the Allied Bombing in WW2 a success?
• Kalila wa Dimna
• The night your father was stabbed in the back room of a convenience store. No mercy.
• Wheresoever he went, there was Eden
• The Abridged Edition: She was to one side, he was to the other, an untested bridge between them
• If I was president
• Bingu wa Mutharika
• the Abayudaya sang, no one was hungry and herds of buffalo roamed the plains
• the little friendship that never was
• This is the story of how I was killed in Peru
• It was crippled, it was heart-felt. The latter invariably trumps the former
• If I was the ocean, what would you be to me?
• I'm sorry, I didn't realize God was on campus today
• Man Was Made to Mourn
• My Singing was Stolen by Whispers to a False Friend
• The class valedictorian was still tripping balls when he was bailed out in time to give the commencement speech at graduation
• but fuck, it was Sunday and the church bells hadn't even called the faithful
• There was always the blue of you
• Yet the sea was hardly bothered, and the stars remained untouched
• that starfish that you threw back in the sea was already dead and the parent seagull had nothing to take to the newly hatched chicks who then starved
• If I believed in horoscopes, I'd probably keep it to myself.
• What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
• A poem I wrote when I was 5
• It was you, Atthis
• I Hear it was Charged Against Me
• I was promised flying cars
• Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
• How I was thrown from a car at 45 mph
• It was all I could do not to cry
• I was in a commercial once
• Walther WA 2000
• Was it Heaven? Or Hell?: Chapter VII
• The Dog It Was That Died
• How Kissing Was Discovered
• The Sun Was Slumbering in the West
• I was a chess piece
• Looks like 1984 was only n years off
• Japanese alphabet
• You hit the nail on the head and the nail was directly above my heart
• I was a college Jeopardy! champion
• Tribute to the Man Who Never Was (document)
• She always was devious in her beauty
• I was thinking I could clean up for Christmas
• I was a helpless agent of causality
• I was burned and bleeding, but the galaxy still spun on
• This was the shinest golden dollar I would ever see in my life and I was not about to tarnish it.
• Why I politely asked the contemporary lit major I was dating to stop writing me love letters
• the signal was killed
• The one thing I wanted more than anything was for someone, just once, to tell me they don't know what they'd do without me
• And though it was snowing outside, all within were warm.
• Subhanahu wa ta'ala
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• I threw was my pen
• The rock under my foot that told me I was real when I was an adult
• Once was enough
• When he removed his stilton sword from my fart valve, he was pleasantly surprised to see a toilet twinkie staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to lap the colon cobra off his ample cock.

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