"1987" is a 12" edit version of the JAMMS' (justified Ancients of Mu Mu, AKA the KLF, AKA the Timelords) deleted LP, "1987, What the fuck is going on?", which they were forced to recall after it was determined that the band had failed to clear their samples. The 12" is a self-released affair, catalog ID "JAMS 25T", and contains a rather informative blurb on the back, reproduced here for your entertainment:

This record is a version of our now deleted and illegal LP '1987, What The Fuck Is Going On?' with all the copyright infringing 'samples' edited out. As this leaves less than 25 minutes of music we are able to sell it as a 12-inch 45.

If you follow the instructions below you will, after some practice, be able to simulate the sound of our original record. To do this you will need three wired-up record decks, a pile of selected discs, one t.v. set and a video machine loaded wiht a cassette of edited highlights of last week's 'Top of the Pops'. Deck one is to play this record on, the other two are to scratch in the missing parts using the selected records. For added authentic effect you could use a Roland 808 drum machine (well cheap and what we used in the original recordings) to play along behind your scratching.

THE INSTRUCTIONS - Side One: The first gap, after all that dawn of time sampled breathing stuff, is from the opening line 'Here we come' from 'The Monkees' Theme'. Then, after my rant of intent, there is a big gap, scratch in the guitar riff from The Monkees' 'Last Train to Clarksville'. Just the hook repeated 8 times over, building up the volume continuously. By the time you get to the eighth riff and the speakers are about to rip, bring in a double riff using your third deck of Little Richard's opening lines of 'Tutti Frutti' (make sure it's from the original Speciality recording and not one of his many later and inferior re-recordings of the song). If everything is going well, the girls should follow on with their 'We're justified and we're ancient' refrain that takes you through uninterrupted until afterthe London Transport announcer gives us the advice to 'Mind the gap'. Then it's 'Don't Take Five (Take What You Want)', we took two bars from the intro of Fred Wesley and the JBs' track 'Same Beat' on the LP 'Damn Right I'm Somebody' (People Records PE 6602), God knows where you can get a copy, I forgot where I got mine, but it was in 1974. The two bars we took, we looped and used as the basis for our backing track, you should be able to do a repeat scratch whenever there is a gap, to get the same effect. In the middle of the song, just after the chorus, after the football results, drop the needle into the groove of Dave Brubeck's 'Take Five', the main theme part that everybody knows. This particular track seems to be on every Dave Brubeck LP ever released. For the outro of 'Don't Take Five...' we just used the outro of 'Same Beat' with occasional bursts from our drum machine and groove box. On our last track on side one, 'Rockman Rock (Parts 2 & 3)' we used that many bits and pieces all over the place, I think I'll just list the tracks we used, with a rough guide, and hopefully you can work it out yourself. A loop of Bo Diddley's legendary beat was used as the basis to the groove, each verse starts with the choral hook of 'Sunrise Sunset' from 'Fiddler on the Roof'. The choruses and bridges feature snatches of 'Love Without Jealousy' by Luther Georgia Snake Boy Johnson (s Muddy Waters sideman under the spotlight) on the Douglas label, Ike & Tina Turner's 'So Fine' on the Pompeii label. The mid-section has the hook from Hamilton Bohannon's mid-seventies anthem 'Disco Stomp' and Rockman's all time favourite guitar bits from Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page and Angus Young. You use what you want. That takes you to the end of Side One.

Side Two: Kicks off with 'Me Ru Con' sung by Zuy Khiem, a Vietnamese friend of ours. If you are lucky enough to have the 7-inch version of it you'll have the English translation on the sleeve. We never planned to have this on the LP, he just sang this while the tapes were running when he was down at the studio doing the bits of tenor sax and clarinet that areon the other tracks. It blew our minds. This takes us straight into some great wadges of silence. Fill it by playing Abba's monster hit 'Dancing Queen' from beginning to end. Whenever I start rapping on deck one, turn down the sound on Abba and when I stop, turn it up, sing along with Abba in silly baby voices and toward the end of the track let the needle drop on to an old copy of the Sex Pistols' LP 'Never Mind The Bollocks'. Hopefully you will do it in such a way that the arm will bounce ascross the tracks, picking up a few choice words before you give it an extra shove and it scratches to the run-off groove.

Switch on the television, bang though the channels on remote control, fast-forward on the video of last week's ition of 'Top of the Pops', stopping at whatever catches your eye. Do this for about three minutes, then as soon as you hear the intro of our infamous 'All You Need Is Love', hit the t.v. off button. In the first gap scratch in the descending 'Love Love Love' from the Beatles' song of the same name. The other blanks on the track are for Samantha Fox to tell yu to touch her (we took our sample from her 12-inch version). The last track, 'Next', the only angster on the record, we based the whole groove on a tape loop of the main riff of Stevie Wonder's 'Superstition', but on mixing out record we only kept it in for the odd burst, so scratch him in wherever you can. Over a largish gap in the intro and for a couple of bursts in the mid-section we used 'The Lonely Goatherd' from 'The Sound of Music'. I wanted to have 'My Favorite Things' from the same musical, but its B.P.M. didn't fit in anywhere and the fact that it was in 3/4 time didn't help. We used great chunks of Scott Walker's version of 'Next' between my lines on verse one, all that imagery of war and sordid sex, you should be able to find the track on a Scott sings Jaques Brel LP. In verse two (or is it three) we used the title line from 'Merry Go Round' by Wild Man Fisher from his 'An Evening With' double LP that came out on Frank Zappa's Bizzare Lable. The other verse features the only sample we had permission to use, The Fall's 'Totally Wired'. We then groove out to the end of the LP with Zuy Kheim playing tenor and Rockman hitting milk bottles. Happy Scratching.

Yours, King Boy D.

WARNING - We must inform you that to attempt any of the above in the presence of two or more paying or non-paying people could be construed as a public performance. If the premises that you are in do not have a music licence you will be infringing the copyright laws of the United Kingdom and legal action may be taken against you. Under no circumstances must your performance be recorded in any form...