Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "if my roommate doesn’t keep is hands off my shit i’m going to have to fuck him up"

• If my roommate doesn't keep his hands off my shit, I'm gonna fuck him up
• The voting system doesn't work because I'm drunk and that fucks it up
• People have fucked up before
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• Fuck you I'm going to write poetry about your city
• If you keep going into the barbershop you'll end up getting a haircut
• Man's desire to blow shit up, and to have a nice attache case
• when i get my shit together i'm going to rule this town
• If you EVER come across an empty floor, just know that I'm gonna fuck you up.
• The Man Felt an Iron Hand Grasp Him by the Hair, at the Nape. Not One Hand, a Hundred Hands Seized Him, Each by the Hair, and Tore Him Head to Foot, the Way You Tear Up a Sheet of Paper, Into Hundreds of Little Pieces
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• keep your hands up
• Just because I'm nice to her doesn't mean I want to fuck her
• They have a trendy name for every different kind of fucked up.
• fuck it, I love you even if I'm gonna feel like shit
• I'm going to have to ask you to leave
• Help! I'm going to have sex
• My Shit's Fucked Up
• A howl that's only going to fly up into the sky and disappear
• Even God doesn't have the right to utterly destroy children
• When I tell stories about you I have to use my hands
• Fuck you, I'm a Hindu
• Hands Up!
• drop the bass and come out with your hands up
• If it keeps on raining, the levee is going to break
• Of all the species on earth, we have the ability to tell the long march of evolution to go fuck itself
• She's perfect in a fucked up way
• I'm going to miss the squirrels
• I'm going to paint a number 7.
• oh God, i'm going to regret this one
• this is how i'm going to die.
• Fucked Up
• What you should REALLY do when you have too many votes on your hands.
• Luckily, my hands do not have eyes.
• Why beverage cans have concave bottoms
• All of us have looked up to an older kid at some point
• My hands knew him
• I will kill that rooster, if it doesn't shut up
• I need to hold your hand. I'm getting numb.
• Shut The Fuck Up
• What the fuck is this shit?
• Eat like every meal's a banquet. Drink like every flagon's your last. Fuck like you're going into battle
• glitter me the fuck up, skinny jeans
• Fucked up Facts from History
• I'm Going Crazy
• I'm Going Home
• The world is bleak and horrible and depressing, so I'm going to set it on fire and laugh
• Jesus doesn't care if you say the word "fuck"
• Marvellous, I'm probably going to be eaten by a wild boar
• I'm Not Going to Lie to You
• I am going to beat up Reel Big Fish
• The USA has fucked up priorities
• keep an eye on the horizon and a hand on your dagger
• Hands up, the whole way
• If your hand is larger than your face you have cancer
• On the one hand my life is in danger, but on the other hand, I'm getting really stoned
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• Keep your mouth shut until you have changed something
• My Swedish vibrator doesn't have Linux drivers!
• I will take one ticket please to whatever you have to say please keep talking
• I have a face I cannot show, I make the rules up as I go
• My roommates have ordered throwing stars
• and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
• Ken Lay
• Sometimes, you have to say to yourself: It just doesn't matter.
• tied up now fuck me (user)
• Meditation doesn't have to be spiritual
• Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon!
• May the world be a better place when I wake up
• Assumption is the mother of all fuck ups
• fucked up criteria (user)
• Just because I like ballet it doesn't mean I'm a poof
• HARDEN THE FUCK UP
• You're not fucked up, ergo, you are shallow
• Screw UNIX, I'm just going to smoke pot and eat Cheetos for the rest of my life
• I enjoy slacking. Does that mean I'm going to Hell?
• Thumbs Up going down
• I'm going to Disneyland
• How can I talk about love when the bacon is burned and the house is an absolute mess and the children are screaming their heads off and I'm going to miss my bus?
• From now on, any ordinary knowledge is no longer going to satisfy you, I'm afraid
• If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you
• Stay there. I'm going to get my gun.
• finding my way back to sanity again, though I don't really know what I'm going to do when I get there
• Just because a man is nice to pretty girls, it doesn't make him a nice man
• Just because I say Happy Hanukkah doesn't mean I'm Jewish
• The turkey doesn't have a head!
• HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, OWNER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WAREHOUSE. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHAT I'M GOING TO DO.
• I'm Going Straight to Heaven
• I'm going to be a programmer!
• You Fucked Up!
• Keep going. Keep breathing.
• Throw your hands (up) in the air, (and) wave them all around like you (just) don't care
• My hands have lost their memory
• You have far too much time on your hands
• I'm going to assume you know why that's stupid and move on
• When she woke up, her hands were still dreaming
• On the other hand, you have different fingers
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• Balloons whose strings have slipped from unclutched hands
• Inventors have one hand in the junk drawer
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• I've never seen a glacier up close, but I've touched your hand. It felt so cold.
• We have eleven toes on each hand, and we walk softly
• Baptist fear of dancing
• You have the whole world in your hands
• everyone on Halloween should show up with a severed hand
• Having gotten myself into a position where I can have my cake and eat it too, I feel no compulsion to get up from the table
• People only enter relationships to have extravagant break ups
• How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
• She may be pretty and have more money than me but she doesn't write songs about you.
• I'm probably the best lover I'll ever have
• Why have you shot him for pounding a corn hat?
• Eat well, shit strongly, and you shall have no fear of death!
• reading a sad story backwards doesn't make it have a happy ending
• When you make your own mother cry you know you've fucked up
• The desire to communicate whilst fucked up
• Sororities are nothing but social crutches
• Why for you kick my dog and call him fuck off?
• Fuck this; I'm having butter
• Just because she's nice to you doesn't mean she wants to fuck you
• Sally Jessy, man, that shit'll fuck you up for life
• "Shut the Fuck Up" Theaters
• Fucked up ways to die
• I'm angry, and tired, and sad, and I just don't want to deal with it right now, so fuck off
• Fuck me if I'm wrong
• The Fucked Up Redemption of Funky McNuggets
• fuck you I'm an anteater
• the wonderful fucked up patchwork quilt that is humanity today
• And while the angel and the succubus are arguing, I'm trying to make sure Faust doesn't stop breathing
• what the fuck is this shit
• another "poem" about unrequited love and how it fucks up your everything
• fuck up
• Some keep the Sabbath going to Church
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• Is she really going out with him?
• A pretty sky just gets me wound up, and my head starts pounding. The city doesn't need a sky.
• I'm going to be a Dad
• When the aliens attack my workplace, I'm going to be so damn READY
• I'm sparkin like a match that's never going out
• One day, I'm going to get rid of it all
• Someday soon, I'm going to save you from your life
• We're going to have to take Heidi home
• I'm not going to fire a 2 million dollar missile at a 10 dollar empty tent and hit a camel in the butt
• Sobering up before going to bed
• I'm Going Slightly Mad
• I'm going to the moon
• I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore
• I'm going to run out of hints to drop
• I'm going to take five of those six exclamation points and drive them into the soft flesh under your fingernails
• I'm going to do something stupid if I don't get laid
• I don't like your reality, I'm going to make my own
• I'm going to love you like the undead woe their graves, crave the living.
• if you don't stop laughing I'm going to pour Mountain Dew on your bed
• And if I don't die or worse I'm going to need a nap
• a horse that's lost could be dreaming of the girl that's going to find him
• I'm Going to Go Back There Someday
• I'm going to kill you
• You know it is going to be a strange day when you wake up dead
• If they're going up to the sun, the stars and the moon, why don't they bring the moon down for us?
• my religion doesn't have a name
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• The second step is to accept that shit ain't going wrong
• This is the last letter I'm going to not send you
• And the Sanders People Keep Going, and Going, and Going...
• Hands off, I'm special
• Keep steadfast and earnest. You will try to trick yourself over and over again along the way. Keep going.
• It is safe to say that I'm going to get my payback if he is anything like me.
• Top ten ways to fuck up your kids

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