Findings:
- Life is material; you just have to live long enough to figure out how to use it
- How to have a great vacation in China without money
- How to get away at work without doing anything
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- How to make a serviceable pair of shoes out of a rubber tire
- We've got all this beauty and just enough time to figure out how to destroy it.
- Covid-19: masks work, we figured that out YEARS ago
- Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to Have A Nice Day
- How to have an out of body experience
- You have your work cut out for you
- I can hang out with guys without fucking them!
- how loud to you have to be to put out a housefire with just your voice
- How to fit pants without trying them on
- I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
- "The Americans in their wisdom have taken the heads off the pictures, enlarged them and superimposed them with the heads of animals and then strung them up all over the walls of the interrogation room," he said
- If we could build things out of concepts, I'd have pants made of lust
- How The Internet Works
- How Things Work
- The volume of stuff you own is directly proportional to how far you have to move
- Listen to me, because I am in the soapbox. This is the voice of the soapbox. I am calling to you. Do you hear the sounds of my soaply siren song? My syntactically sweet strumming along to sequential sequestrations of symmetrically snakey st
- I have never been sure that you knew quite how much I loved you
- Create a throwing star out of Post-it Notes
- How the United States highway system works
- How 'bout them transparent dangling carrots?
- Changing an automobile tire
- Sex in a small car
- Coloring your name in Quake 3
- How many a dispute could have been deflated into a single paragraph if the disputants had dared to define their terms.
- How long have you been in love with her?
- I figured out Faith
- How can an atheist have morals?
- How can a good Buddhist work in advertising?
- Getting out of a traffic ticket
- How to find out your own IP address
- How interactive fiction works (part 4)
- How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
- Finding out where a net user lives
- How to piss off your sysadmin
- How we have grown apart
- How many "Spinal Tap" drummers have died, in total?
- If I'd have shot her when I met her, I'd be out of jail by now.
- I have a small penis. How can I sexually pleasure a woman?
- leaving out parts of the truth. you have to.
- My lifetime goal is to have my own action figure
- How to really brush your teeth (Yes, you have been doing it wrong)
- My people, some of them, have run away to 4chan and have no XP.
- I figured it all out
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- why I do have to get so deep with people all the time just to gently let them down 2 weeks later
- you have ghosts. where are they? are they so deep that the light cannot reach them? is there any such place?
- My soul is in a million pieces. I tried to collect most of them, but some are missing, and the ones I have don't fit together anymore. Feel free to take a piece or two.
- How to tell whether a figure can be drawn in one stroke
- Once and somewhere far away I might have found peace, but now I can't live without this city.
- Sex with a chicken
- How to exchange two variables without using a third
- How to fall out of an airplane
- How to piss off the labop
- How stuff works
- How to piss off the guys in the fire truck
- How to be a jerk and piss off your SO
- How to find out if ANY number is divisible by eleven
- If you're not smart enough to figure this out on your own, you shouldn't be doing it
- How interactive fiction works (part 5)
- Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
- How to find out if a Web company is monitoring your browsing habits
- Hard disk vibrations and how you can stop them
- How many genes do we (humans) have?
- figure out
- How to develop one side of your butt and still have the other one flabby
- How can we have a Y2K problem in a country with both Microsoft and Intel?
- The people we have met in the last 5 years, & will we remember them in 10 more
- Figure It Out
- I have measured out my life with a pumpkin patch
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- How many lives could have been saved had we just said "Please" more often?
- how many lines of code have you written?
- Jeeves! Have this puny billionaire thrown out IMMEDIATELY!
- How can vitality be achieved in figure painting?
- How can I need kisses I have never felt?
- The Manual (How to Have a Number One the Easy Way)
- I'll look at this in a year and wonder how I could have been so stupid
- How to have lesbian sex
- You Have to Look Out For Your Dragons
- Sex and death have both spat me out like spoiled milk for the same reason. I was not afraid.
- Words sometimes get sick and we have to heal them.
- We told you when you were hired that you would have to work on Saturday
- and when all the stars have fallen one last time and the skies are crumbling into my hands and the sirens are bleeding out on the beaches and the earth fades; you will remain
- i hope i make it out, because i have a lot to tell you
- A boy and his shadow standing on a long shore trying to figure out the intentions of the sun
- Bizmillah! We'll have to let them go
- How the mighty have fallen
- How to use chopsticks
- I am going to try to figure out a way to get into your cunt castle
- How the FFT works
- Speculation: How a Lightsaber works
- How to find out if an egg has gone bad
- How do ya like them apples?
- The best way to learn something is when someone else figures it out and tells you.
- I miss the way you were before you figured out that I'm not yours
- Finding the origin of a Hotmail message
- IP Addresses and How to Deal With Them
- if you want, i can help you figure out a nice ending
- we're just trying to figure out what it all means
- How to scare the living shit out of an arachnophobe with a black shoelace
- How to order a Happy Meal without embarrassment
- Lunch, two good men, books, how much I like them
- How interactive fiction works
- How Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man have sex
- On the beach, by myself. How it turned out.
- How to walk past someone you work with in the hallways at the office
- How interactive fiction works (part 3)
- Getting the most out of public transportation
- How interactive fiction works (part 2)
- Automobile tire pressure
- Smoking from a Pringles tube
- How the Mind Works
- If you pull out into an intersection have the balls to follow through
- If guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns
- A rant about the worst professor I have ever worked with
- Alice without opening her eyes says You have to stop crying you are shaking the bed.
- How to tell when you have really messed up your relationship
- That icky feeling when a client calls with a downed server and you have no clue how to fix it
- On my honor, I have not violated the honor code in any way on this work.
- How many geniuses have we lost this way?
- Finding out you have cancer
- I really have to get out of this fucking country
- Getting a working visa in Japan
- You have to watch out for the quiet ones
- How to say "No" and have people listen
- The "How many partners have you had" question
- Thank god I don't have to make my living passing out bogus petitions
- Terminating a pregnancy due to Down Syndrome
- How to have an epileptic fit
- I Don't Need to Have Children, I Date Them
- If I ever have kids, I will kick the TV in and hurl it out the window
- These are the only minutes you'll ever have. Take good care of them.
- Of diamonds and those that have them
- I have never held such sins against them the way that I hold them against you
- How to have a Scotch Tasting
- How and why do we (humans) have culture?
- What if I had never met you? How much the poorer would my life have been.
- You, standing
- How to "Have People"
- Let them have Festivas
- How to have plausible deniability if caught in a medical situation involving rectal insertion.
- A lot of houses don't even have anyone to board them up.
- no exact amounts since I have no idea how many people you feed
- i have to get out
- Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
- Have I forgotten how to stand up with the humor and the need?
- How we could still have a President Trump
- I Came Out Here To Have A Good Time And Honestly I Am Feeling So Attacked Right Now
- If you don't know how to make a mu, you have no business measuring quantities that small.
- How long have you known?
- We can't even sort out the space between people, we have no business building rockets.
- i have excuses though and i always enumerate them for her
- Most people underestimate how serious things have gotten
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- The transition out of misery begins with discipline. You have always known this. It's time you resigned yourself to it.
- it's God's work to have us fail
- we have a lot of work to do
- The unending hatred elves have of debt and how it needlessly complicates simple social interactions: an essay
- i am a seedling. i don't even understand how much i have yet to learn.
- What is it like to have a crush on someone?
- How could you ever have enough?
- How to Pretend to Have a Job
- How to have fun in post-Civil War New York
- How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
- How to stay awake at work
- How Do I Live
- Shaving your nuts without permanent injury and/or accidental castration
- Grinding power supply fans and how to fix them
- fog machine
- How to Fall Out of Love
- What Happened to Them at Surinam, and How Candide Became Acquainted with Martin
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