A
mail order company based in Elizabethtown
Indiana that specializes in
plants and
chemicals, especially those reputed to have
psychoactive properties such as
Salvia divinorum,
Amanita muscaria,
Trichocereus pachanoi (San Pedro cactus), and even
Dextromethorphan hydrobromide in powder form. JLF makes no
claim as the the psychoactive
quality of any of their products. The JLF
catalog proudly bears "The Longest
Warning Label You've Ever Seen"
The Longest Warning Label You've Ever Seen
"Any
seed prohibited as a
noxious weed, or other, by
law, is supplied to the consignee for nonsowing purposes only. By ordering such seed, the
customer agrees to the use of such seed for nonsowing purposes only.
Void where
prohibited; check your local laws. All
merchandise sold in this catalog is
poisonous and not intended for internal
consumption, external
absorption or other routes of ingestion by
humans or
animals. Keep all JLF products (and any
empty plastic bags they may have come in) out of the reach of
children and those less
responsible for their own actions. All merchandise is
classified as nonconsumable. Do not
eat. Do not use in any manner
unauthorized by JLF. JLF
assumes no
liability for any
misuse or
abuse of its products. For example: (for those
litigious types who exist solely to keep the human aspect of Murphy's Law alive) Do not take
orally (into your mouth) as a
food, a
beverage, a
chew, a
toothpick, a
nutritional supplement, a
medicine, a
drug or an agent of
suicide. Do not
eat,
drink,
inject,
inhale,
insert,
absorb,
sniff,
snort,
smoke,
slam or
ingest in any way. Do not
stick,
put, or
throw into your or another person's
mouth,
nose,
ear,
eye,
anus,
urethra,
vagina or any other
orifice or port-of-entry that may exist on your or another person's
body. Do not allow any
carbon-based product to become
moist, then allow it to
decompose with a
pathogenic micro-organism, then allow the
foul black
rot to come in contact with your body, (especially
mucous membranes) or insert into the orifices previously mentioned, thereby causing an infectuous
disease.
Do not do that. Also, do not do this: Do not
deploy any of JLF's products as
weapons of
war or
tools for
violence, such as
dangerous high speed
projectiles aimed at
people or
property. Do not use for
tinder to start a
fire to
commit arson or to
burn yourself or another or any
public or
private property. Do not leave lying on the
floor to
trip over or
slip on to incur
personal injury. Obviously, there is not enough room here to list all the possible "do nots".
If, after reading all of this, you find that you still can not keep from harming yourself or others or their property with JLF's products, then you should probably
go back to bed and stay there the rest of your life. Then again, on second thought;
DO NOT GO BACK TO BED AND STAY THERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! JLF will not be liable for any
injuries or
misfortune incurred from attempting to stay in bed for the rest of your life because you somehow thought we authorized it here. By the way, prices
subject to change without notice."
Despite the
warning above people do occasionally
purchase products for the purposes of
ingestion. Although I haven't heard of any other incidents, one of my friends did end up in the
hospital in a
coma after being fed a mixture of dried
Amanita muscaria and
Acorus Calamus root oil by someone he trusted at the time.
More
information about JLF Poisonous Non-Consumables may be found at http://www.jlfcatalog.com
A
catalog may be obtained by
writing:
JLF Poisonous Non-Consumables
P.O. Box 184
Elizabethtown, IN 47232