Here's the stuff we found when you searched for "...at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell"

• I hope they kill me while I'm standing here, so I can die happy.
• Collecting cardboard boxes, so one day, you can build a castle
• How can I pour your wine while my hands shake so?
• Life is not so much about saying hello as it is about saying goodbye
• Religion doesn't exist just so that people can be told what to think
• Waiting for the tear gas in my room to fade away so i can sleep
• Weather can be pretty, yet so damaging. Sort of like some men I know
• Have you ever been so excited about your life that it makes you almost want to cry?
• Do men think about sex all day long?
• This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
• at once so warm and so insignificant.
• The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds, and makes new life, and poisons the earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the gun shoots death, and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill!
• How can something so incredibly beautiful be so incredibly wrong?
• Knowing doesn't mean so much
• This song is so good it can make your ears pop
• he looks a little like you... so i would rather talk about other pretty girls
• Why are the most beautiful things in life so damn fragile?
• people are lazy about explanations so they make rules
• How soft your fields so green can whisper tales of gore
• So rare you can still hear it moo
• There's so much to think about. I'm getting distracted.
• How to be a jerk and piss off your SO
• can it be that it was all so simple then
• I have to get up early and do laundry so I can wear something nice to the weirdo sex club
• No dreamer’s diagram so symmetrical and so faultless on paper can guarantee anything. Only we can guarantee, only our behavior under pressure.
• So I was cold chillin on the corner on a hot summer's day
• try to memorize this moment so that years from now I can tell the story of it
• Just so we’re all clear, it is okay to miss people you no longer want in your life
• Which doesn’t sound so crazy when we put it that way
• So I'm wrestling with the demoness while the priest is trying not to soil his vestments, and Faust is just sitting there like an idiot
• Mull around in my mind for a while and you'll find so many treasure troves and so many graveyards that you won't be able to tell the difference between them
• Victor Hugo once got so mad he threw a baseball through a dog
• please come stay with me in the forest so at least i have one person with whom i have no secrets
• Choosing bitterness is taking the easy way out. It's so easy to feel bitter when you've been hurt. Path of least resistence. Forgiveness is a path that goes in a very different direction.
• And if terrorists wanted to communicate secretly, mightn't they just do so by collaborating on a 'draft' here at e2? Can the NSA check on our drafts? Who knows? Inquiring minds want to know, Jay!
• Promise me disappointment so I can stop holding out for glory.
• I'm not going to simplify things just so they can fit inside your mind. You don't deserve that.
• Please download this app so I can see you inna nude
• Not wanting to sleep so the next day won't start
• It seemed so real, to me these are more than wasted days
• sometimes things that look scary can be so beautiful, if you give them a chance
• I've accepted the way it is and it doesn't hurt so much
• Don’t take life so serious, son; it ain’t nohow permanent
• My life's got rags, my life's got riches. They've all been mixed together for so long it's hard to tell them apart.
• I keep thinking I'm so tough but I rarely care enough to prove it. So am I really tough then? Or does every dog just have its day?
• So why talk about politics now
• Why are the most beautiful things in life so damn robust?
• So while Faust is busy trying to wipe the blood off his face and Shorty's trying to claw his eyes out, I mosey away and try my hand at storming the castle
• I'll pretend I just cursed myself by saying this, so when it doesn't happen I have something to fall back on other than you
• Take these shackles off my feet so I can dance
• Though I may not have lived a virtuous life, at least I can say I've lived
• The city. So many lights you can actually pretend one of them's shining on you.
• I tiptoe back into myself so I can run from what I was
• Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
• Dogs don't have souls, so it doesn't matter
• retracing unknown lines in the dark so I can follow them blindly
• Walls so thin, I can almost hear them breathing
• Can God create a boulder so large He can't have anal sex with it?
• Weather can be pretty, yet so damaging.
• It's so quiet, I can hear my cigarette burning.
• How long can any one heart be so confused?
• When will you humans learn that your "feelings" (as you so call them) can stand in the way of big cash payoffs?
• Some days there are so many words I need all three notebooks
• do you think i can get all my ideas out? so they aren't lost?
• she can scream so loud you'll be looking for your ears on the floor
• The reason we were so excited about Y2K
• On three separate occasions, I gave up my life so others could live
• So Where The Bloody Hell Are You?
• I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
• I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head.
• The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway
• Life Is So Good
• so many of life's truths are merely the intersections of nature
• Life is so strange
• You know, life isn't so bad
• The endless blue sky is not big enough to hold her memories, so it doesn't
• I know it's boring to go on about it, it bores me to sleep, but what the hell, why doesn't it fade
• Men suck, right? Men are just plain clueless, isn't that so?
• You only live once, so eat an ice cream bar
• And forty days were fulfilled for him; for so are fulfilled the days of those which are embalmed
• Your radical ideas about many things have already occurred to others but have never been articulated in a fashion so accessible to current generations
• Your vote doesn't matter anyway, so you might as well vote 3rd party
• Bragging about a high IQ is way worse than bragging about having a large dick. The latter can at least be demonstrably used for something and be put to good use.
• Dammit, I am so sick of reading about other noders enjoying human companionship
• Rampant mass consumerism is so evil. Hey, can I have a sip of that Frappucino?
• God can create a stone so heavy even he can't lift it
• I'm so sorry my brain works that way
• You can only chase a shadow so far
• The guy who may as well already be dead and therefore doesn't care about the consequences of his actions and is able to move with perfect freedom for the remainder of what will likely be a tragically short life
• I am going to rewrite you so that I can still like people.
• Seriously, I can't speak French, so can we just skip to the love-making part?
• When we kiss I can hear your thoughts, so I would rather we didn't
• Dust mop so magic she can not believe how fun it is to clean up after people
• Why noding about your personal life can be a bad idea
• so the hum and silence can co-exist
• I Am America (And So Can You!)
• my heart, exploding so loudly i can hardly hear myself think
• Life must be lived forward, but it can only be appreciated sideways
• it's a pity we only appreciate some once they're gone, when they can no longer defend themselves
• Can I hear the echo from the days of '39?
• Anonymous Men Think They Can Talk To Me
• once you see a can of white paint and a black cat...
• A Day in the Life
• Life is not always fair, but you can be
• Ivy Day in the Committee Room
• It can be days before the vision passes and I see the world plainly again.
• I didn't have the heart to tell him I was lying about taco night, but at least the hellhound made some friends
• Potatoes saved my life they can save yours too
• I have to wonder how this can be a metaphor for my life
• Just because you can make music doesn't mean that you should
• at least in dreams when shit gets ugly you can still fly and whistle
• How Can You Be in Two Places at Once When You're Not Anywhere at All?
• lots of small things can fill up a day without you even being aware of it
• how life is all about loving and being loved
• The Least We Can Do Is Wave To Each Other
• On a clear day you can see more than you want to
• Some days are magic, and I can do anything. The other days, I just have to wait, and hope it comes back.
• Things my mom doesn't argue with me about anymore
• At least I have something to show for my awkward days
• Escape while you still can.
• Can We Talk About This?
• "You want to know the only thing you can assume about a broken down old man? It's that he's a survivor."
• You can complain about athlete salaries all you want, but my voicemail is still empty.
• What doesn't kill you can only fuck you up for a really, really long time
• Just because you should do something doesn't mean you can
• What can a reed do but sway about and love?
• This terrain is constantly changing, but if you look closely, you can find the patterns
• Sometimes when I hold a child I can feel my life grow long
• On the last day of 2004, we will do something in Portland. That thing is called a party. You can come.
• You can't dominate the world on $10 a day (or can you?)
• No Time, No Room, No Thought, or Writing Can
• The time they fantasize about was built on a lie
• At least animals can run away
• The brief nightmare waits anxiously for dawn, tearing flesh and drinking spilled blood while it still can.
• I can slaughter my way through Hell, but I can't kill these feelings for you
• Condensed life in a can, like the ones you buy at grocery stores
• I'm passionate about my plant life
• It's a wonderful life. I can prove it.
• When words fail me, music helps. I can at least sing along.
• even if you are in prison, you can hear it. even if you are in hell, you can hear the voice. even if you are at a distant star, you can hear the voice of the buddha.
• You Can Sleep While I Drive
• Ivy Day In The Committee Room - 2
• Real men can cook
• Today is the first day of the rest of your life
• Stoned music memories
• Ivy Day In The Committee Room - 3
• Snow Days vol. II: The Best That I Can Do
• Can we still like each other knowing the worst about each other?
• Someday my life will be interesting, and I will come back and tell you about it then
• About two men called Harold Budd
• It's gone, aint nothing you can do about it now
• I want to hear about his day in person
• Among the fields and small houses lies a boy I can only dream about
• life is about falling into a hole, and then climbing out of the hole
• just because i'm out on the balcony doesn't mean i'm about to jump
• If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
• Aerosol cans and a lighter can bring wet wood to life
• Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should
• How precious can human life be? There are six billion people on the planet!
• I can own this room
• Can you hear me Maggie Thatcher? Your boys took one hell of a beating
• Men can download naked women. Women can't download men worshipping them. Ha ha!
• One nuclear bomb can ruin your whole day
• Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
• What can you tell us about the Republican Platform?
• Just because I'm black doesn't mean I can rap
• I can photograph you while you sleep
• The life you can save
• The least I can get away with
• How Proust Can Change Your Life
• No one can be in two places at once

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